Illustration for article titled This Response To A Moronic eBay Question Is Incredibly Wonderful

You put your car for sale on eBay. Someone doesn't read the ad and makes a ridiculous offer in the questions area. If that happens, it's your duty as a human to tear that person a new one. The seller of this Bronco did just that, and he did a monumental job.

Apparently the seller of this Bronco has been getting some ridiculous questions about his Bronco. Will he finance it? Is he a dealer? Will he take 65 percent less than the Buy-It-Now price?


All of these are answered in the product listing:

Please Know That I Am Not A Dealer And Will Not Finance This Vehicle. You Must Have Your Cash Or Financing In Place If You Purchase This Vehicle.By Using The Buy It Now Or Make Offer, You Are Entering Into A Legal And Binding Contract.

Apparently the question askers have either been too lazy to read or had hoped he was lying when he wrote that explicitly in the description.

Here is the question he got that finally set him off. It should give you a pretty good idea of what he's dealing with:

Q: Hello, I'm interested in your bronco. I'm worried about financing though because of the model year, can't get a bank loan on a car this old. Would you consider $9000, I think I could pull that off.


And here is the answer, which is so wonderful it might have actually been written by Shakespeare:

A: Ladies and gentlemen for your reading pleasure. This is how I answer a remarkably stupid question, please enjoy. Let me see if I have this correctly. You want me to sell you my Bronco that has a buy it now price of $25,500.00 for $9,000.00. Because the most you think that you could pull off is $9,000.00. You must be a 20 something, in need of rehab, or are mentelly deficient. You obviously didn't read the entire listing. That states and I quote " you must have your cash or financing in place if you purchase this vehicle". Whatever made you think that I would consider dropping my price by almost 65%. when other Bronco's with twice the mileage are selling between $13,000.00 and $17,000.00. It's time for you to have a reality check. Not everyone is a winner. Not everyone gets a trophy, and just because you want something doesn't mean that you can have it. I hope that this isn"t to subtle for you to comprehend. But if it is the answer is NO $9,000.00 won't buy the Bronco. I have been getting some interesting questions about my Bronco. Most from people, who for some reason can"t understand or fully read this listing. So I will attempt to answer for those individuals that lack the capacity to understand. I ask that those of you who do understand to forgive my indulgence. NO I AM NOT A DEALER ( READ THE LISTING ) NO I WILL NOT FINANCE THE BRONCO ( READ THE LISTING ) NO I WILL NOT SELL YOU THE CARGO COVER. NO I WILL NOT SELL YOU THE SPARE TIRE COVER. NO I WILL NOT SELL YOU THE EDDIE BAUER FLOOR MATS. THE BRONCO IS BEING SOLD ENTIRELY COMPLETE! MY APOLOGIES IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANY REAL Ebay USER. BUT SERIOUSLY IF YOU CAN'T BUY A CLUE, HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO BUY ANYTHING ON Ebay.


That is a sweet burn. I'm glad someone had the balls to say what we all think in these situations. I'm even willing to overlook the typos and grammatical errors in his answer, which I'll attribute to being blinded by rage caused by the inept that have been sending him emails.

(Hat Tip to Jason!)

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