This new Maserati SUV looks 'shopped, I can tell

Illustration for article titled This new Maserati SUV looks 'shopped, I can tell

The Intertubes have been abuzz with photos of what appear to be the new Maserati sport utility vehicle set to be unveiled in Frankfurt. Yet its probably an unofficial render, and not just because of a few pixels and all the 'shops I've seen in my day.


The image comes from the Frankfurt Motor Show's media guide — a strange place to unveil the first image of a new model. The image includes an artist signature; and it just so happens that an Italian magazine ran its own guesstimation on what the Maserati people-hauler would look like.

Illustration for article titled This new Maserati SUV looks 'shopped, I can tell

And then there's the shape of the damn thing; where it sports a BMW X6-like hunch, the kissin' cousins off the same platform — Jeep Grand Cherokee, Dodge Durango and Mercedes M-Class — all come with much squarer rear profiles. Given it will be built in Detroit along the Grand Cherokee and Durango, it'd be strange for Fiat to spend major coin for such a radical alteration on a low-volume model.

Verdict: 'Shopped. Also, if the real thing looks this way, I'm not sure the world has enough Lapo Elkanns to justify it.



After several sleepless nights at the Maserati Design Center...

Designer 1 (impatiently): Okay, what we've made here is a Pontiac Aztek.

Designer 2: This will never fit in CAD.

Designer 3: Si adatta in CAD!

Designer 1: Let's put that on the back in Comic Sans.

Designer 2: We can't, it already says "Italian Motherfucker" in Old English All Caps.

Designer 3: Si adatta in the backa!

Designer 2 (pulls out a Beretta handgun and points it at Designer 3): CAZZO TUA MADRE!

Designer 1 (gets between 2 and 3): People...let's just...let's just get some sleep.