This Irish Reviewer Would Sell His Right Testicle To Get A Scion FR-S

We love the Toyobaru twins. They're pretty, they're fun to drive, and they bring visceral enjoyment back to the driving experience.

But we're not sure we like it as much as the guy who reviews cars for the Irish car website The Next Gear. He practically has an orgasm driving the GT-86, Europe's Scion FR-S, before proclaiming his love for the car and how it's the best sports car available in Ireland and probably anywhere in the whoooole wide warld.

This is just amazin' stoof! ...Toyota, why were ya hidin' a car like this? But you warn't. Subaru war... I'm going to sell all my camera equipment, I'm going to sell my house, I'm going to sell everything. My kidney, my house, my, I don't know ... my right testicle just to have another go at this car.


Things get a bit disconnected when he compares the car with Ozzy Osbourne, but that's what blind love will do. It will confuse you.

It's like Ozzy Osbourne. He seems nice, but he did bite the head off a bat ... on droogs.

That makes no sense, but we feel ya. All that really needs to be said here is that The Next Gear guy's love of the GT-86 is so profound, he can feel it down to the pubic hairs in his trousers. Perhaps a slight twitching sensation?

(Hat tip to George!)

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Every in-car review and reviewer tries to channel Chris Harris. But only the Monkey is the Monkey.