This Cheap Aston Martin Project Is Making Me Think Things I Really Shouldn't

Illustration for article titled This Cheap Aston Martin Project Is Making Me Think Things I Really Shouldn't
Photo: eBay

Someone in Ohio had a really bad day. Not only did their Aston Martin DB9 quit working, but the shop they took it to investigated the source of the problem only to find it was the crankshaft. The literal heart of the car decided to crunch itself only to leave the otherwise gorgeous Aston in a state of inoperative decline. Instead of sinking good money after bad, the owner of this car decided to cut their losses and bail. And unfortunately, that has set my mind into motion thinking the Bad Thoughts.

Aside from the fact that this Aston was originally an automatic car, it seems to be decently nice. Sure, it’s silver, which is boring as shit, and it’s over a decade old at this point, but it’s still a fetching car, and I’d look quite nice cruising around in this fancy drop-top double-0 machine. Given that DB9s all look roughly the same from 2004 to 2016, and range in price from around 40,000 to six figures, this broke-ass Bond car’s $14,999 asking price seems reasonable.

Okay, so obviously fixing the car’s original V12 is out of the question, right? So what do you do? I’m sure some hot rodders among us would LS swap this thing and make a beastly touring machine that makes all the wrong noises, but would probably drive pretty great. Others still would find a way to source a Vanquish S V12 (which produced 70 extra horsepowers) from a wrecked example on Copart or something.

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I, however, would certainly cop a nice Tesla Large Drive Unit for a few grand, slide the whole thing under the rear end, and stuff the engine compartment with enough batteries for 200 miles of Grand Touring range. If you buy it right, and sell off enough parts from the original Aston engine and transmission at the right price, you could have an electric AM Volante built for under 25 grand. Now that sounds like a grand old time to me. But like I said, these thoughts are the Bad Thoughts. I need to stop having them.

If you’re interested in picking up this cheap-Aston, you can find it on eBay here. Don’t worry, all of the parts are there to make it whole again, just the engine is borked. Please buy this, so I don’t have to.

Also, check out that LM002. It’s not at all related to what we’re talking about, but the Rambo Lambo is always cool to think about. Okay, that was fun. Bye!

Jalopnik contributor with a love for everything sketchy and eclectic.

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Harbor-freight engine swap it. Then turn the broken v12 into a coffee table to sell on Etsy for $15,000.