These Are The Perfect Modern Cars For Barbie

“As a girl dad, I have to ask: which Barbie? Because baby boomer Barbie would still have a Corvette... a C7 because none of that communism mid-engine C8 crap. Realworld Barbie would have a bland compact crossover with an 84 month note come with a GPS locator for the optional repo-truck. Veterinarian Barbie would have a Ford Transit. Farmer Barbie would have a RAM Powerwagen with working gooseneck, Active Hiking Barbie would have heels and a lifted Jeep Wrangler, CEO Barbie would have an S500 and driver, Hairstylist Barbie would have a Mitsubishi Eclipse Sport, and finally, Babysitter Barbie would have a Hyundai Elantra with a fire recall accessory.

“My pick: Social Commentary Barbie as it is a two-pack with woke college Baribie featuring a transit bus, hopefully with a bicycle accessory (sold separately). Ken is unavailable at this time.

“While on the reverse packaging ‘sovereign citizen’ Bar.Bie of the MatTLe fami1y. would be any 15 year old ‘buy here, pay here’ economy minivan/suv with internet img plates. The Freightliner ‘freedom’ Ken/Trucker is sold separately on conditions of their parole.

“The Social Activist/Sovereign Citizen combo pack is made available to Targets to rotate the package based on the zip-code/voting habits of the shoppers. Allows for quick corperate ‘stances’ to change at a minimum wage.

“Jalop Barbie would have a brown manual wagon with a diesel…”

Barbie lives in a make-believe land, so surely public transport might actually work in that place, right?

Suggested by: futuredoc

“G class cabriolet in pink.”

All manner of convertible pink off-roaders were suggested, but this was probably the best match.

Suggested by: @smoking_crab (Twitter)

“White Jeep Wrangler, it’s the standard dream car for a lot of high schoolers (at least where I’m from).”

If Barbie’s getting a Wrangler it’s in Tuscadero pink, surely?

Suggested by: Calder Smith (Facebook)

“Barbie was born in 1959, that makes her 64 years old.

“So, at this time she’s probably turned into a ‘Karen,’ was a real estate broker until the market went to shit so she decided to let her license expire, is now the president of her HOA and wonders why her kids never call her.

“She’s probably driving a Mercedes GLS, but deep inside wants a G-wagon like Becky down the street whose husband is a cardiologist.

“Oh, and she thinks your shrubs are too high, your kids make too much noise and doesn’t like the color of your shutters.”

Of course, this answer follows the logic that Barbie ages, but she doesn’t.

Suggested by: earthbound-misfit-i

“A pink e-bike of course because she understands the climate emergency we are under!”

Barbie has worked as a paleontologist, microbiologist and zoologist over the years, so she’ll for sure be taking steps to cut her environmental impact.

Suggested by: @Alfredo82407206 (Twitter)

“Polestar 6 convertible in the tradition of previous convertibles with a look towards the EV future.”

Hopefully Polestar can sort out its paint shop and make some Barbie-approved colors by the time the 6 goes on sale.

Suggested by: David White (Facebook)

“A bright pink Bugatti or Koenigsegg.

“With all her jobs, she’s one of the few people around who can afford to daily drive one of these stupid expensive cars.”

Barbie probably banked her millions and bought a Bugatti while playing professional tennis, or while working as a model, rock star or TV game show host.

Suggested by: Knyte

“Sports Car – Porsche 992 Carrera Cabriolet

“Hatchback – Mini Cooper S

“Sedan – Audi S3

“SUV – Jeep Wrangler

“Crossover – VW T-Roc R.”

A car for every occasion, much like how there’s a Barbie for every occasion.

Suggested by: @RaphaelChapman2 (Twitter)

“Hummer, or any refrigerator on wheels, really, like GMC Yukon, Jeep Grand Wagoneer…”

Dentist Barbie probably drives a car like this.

Suggested by: Maneesh Roberts (Facebook)

“VW ID Buzz

“It would fit in perfectly with Barbie plus she had a 2001 VW Microbus Concept at one point.”

Clearly, Barbie is a woman of exquisite taste.

Suggested by: thedriveress

“None, she should take the train.”

Fun fact, Barbie actually worked as a train conductor back in the early 2000s. So she’s clearly a big fan of public transit.

Suggested by: @AdamKnott16 (Twitter)

“A rusted out dodge or Chrysler van.”

I guess rock star Barbie would have had a van like this in the early days?

Suggested by: Jay Nelson (Facebook)

“There was a really interesting segment on Marketplace a couple weeks ago talking about how the Barbie DreamHouse has evolved over the last 60 years. Basically, it’s a mashup of what children see and what they would want in an aspirational house.

“So I’m going to nominate the Ferrari Purosangue because:

“See: SUV

“Aspire to / Want: Ferrari.”

For the Barbie that wants the performance of a Ferrari but the practicalities of an SUV to haul her scuba gear around with her.

Suggested by: theoretics