Unfortunately, few of us are likely to live forever. But with that fact of life in mind, we can all try to live a little with the time we have. This morning, we asked for the cars that you’d want to see out your last days in, and you gave us some responses from across all walks of automotive life. Let’s dive in.
Bury me in something we know will last forever: A Third Generation Toyota Camry.
Long after civilization has fallen to plague, nuclear wars, anthropogenic climate catastrophe, water shortages, and desertification — there will be one thing left. These goddamn cars.
When future civilizations are exploring our planet, I want them to come upon a fossil record, perfectly preserved, the soap bar lines and “mouse fur” spartan interior. Inside this car they will find me, dressed head to toe in a track suit, with a Sony Walkman loaded up with Dr. Dre’s 2001.
In digging up photos to go with this comment, I discovered that the third-generation Toyota Camry was available as a coupe. Not the Camry Solara we got later, but the standard Camry — just cut down to two doors. Please, Toyota, bring this back. Sell me a short-wheelbase two-door Camry TRD.
Submitted by: Shane Morris
The top image is misleading. If I could pick my hearse, I’d want it to be a 1959 Flxible
The post seems to be asking, however, what is the final car I want to own. That’s trickier. I don’t know what sort of physical limitations I might have by the time I’m at death’s door. I assume I’ll have issues with flexibility, but hopefully no true disabilities. I’d want something comfortable, with a seat height such that I neither have to climb into or out of the vehicle. Remember how the Kia Soul was marketed as being for hip young drivers, but the average buyer age was like sixty? Something like that, probably.
Remember the era of boxy youth-focused cars about a decade ago? Turns out older buyers loved those squared-off compact CUVs. They looked like young-people cars, but were easy to get in and out of with aching, aging joints. As long as you didn’t mind putting up with the hamsters, they made for great old-person cars.
Submitted by: smalleyxb122
Some Viking movie I saw as a kid had the ending with the king’s body in his longboat set adrift in the fjord while his minions peppered it with flaming arrows. The king got a helluva cremation sendoff.
Point being it’s in my will to cremate me, dump my ashes on the driver’s seat, soak the car in gas and set my ‘69 Charger ablaze. Burn it to the ground.
(not mine)
Yeah, I’m taking mine with me. I’m not kidding—totally gonna happen.
If you’ve already got your dream car, why change? Carry on with the chassis you love, and give it (and yourself) a Viking funeral to top things off. Qin Shi Huang may have his terracotta soldiers, but you’ll have a roaring V8. Who really has the better afterlife?
Submitted by: the 1969 Dodge Charger Guy
1st Gen, no nannies
Yesterday’s Answer of the Day included a second-generation Viper, which sparked some debate about how many generations the Viper actually had. Scholars of the R/T-10 say five, but contrarians within the Jalopnik Slack say three. I’m going to settle this debate once and for all: Every individual Viper VIN is its own generation. Have fun.
Submitted by: Bob
Easy. One of those Japanese Hearses.
On the opposite end of the luxury spectrum from the Viper, we have the gorgeous hearses built atop Toyota Crowns. The amount of care and artistry that goes into these hearses is staggering, and the end result shows it — each one is intricately crafted and visually stunning.
Submitted by: Unacceptably Dry Scones
A replica Shelby Daytona Coupe, because that’s been my dream car since I first saw one when I was 13 years old.
A comfortable and beautiful hearse may be nice, but some people want to truly live before they die. Riding the ragged edge of grip, cornering ability, traction, and braking. Something like a Daytona Coupe replica won’t insulate its driver from an iota of noise, vibration, or harshness — what better way to feel alive?
Submitted by: Garland - Last Top Comment on Splinter
Ford GT!!!!!!!!
Never not on brand, $kay.
Submitted by: $kaycog
Gimme this limo from Cannonball Run 2. That way, my body can be propped up in the fake driver’s seat up front, while someone in the back drives the car around, freaking out as many people as possible. I’ll set up a trust to keep this going on as long as necessary.
I’ll admit to never having seen Cannonball Run 2, but the idea of an open-cockpit limo used for Weekend at Bernie’s-style shenanigans is incredibly appealing to me. I will donate my battery-operated reciprocating saw to this cause.
Submitted by: Sid Bridge
I plan on being cremated, so my remains will likely fit into a 10" cube box, which i believe will fit neatly into a Cubesat.
Given that SpaceX is currently charging about $30,000 per kilogram to launch something into orbit, I want my cremains to be shot into space on a Falcon 9.
This will serve the dual purpose of making sure my ashes are disposed of properly -AND- denying the vultures in my family of a large chunk of their inheritances.
Okay, technically, the question this morning did say “vehicle.” It never specified that it had to be a passenger vehicle, or even one with wheels. A rocket leaving Earth is sort of the opposite of being Earth-bound, but maybe it’ll help you escape Giygas.
Submitted by: Earthbound Misfit I
A TVR. It’s not a hearse, it’s not something you plan in advance, but my final moments will be spent hurtling sideways through a hedge somewhere in Yorkshire.
Maybe it’s optimistic to think we’ll get to pick which car is our last. It’s entirely possible that any car could send any of us off the road and into oblivion. Getting behind the wheel of a TVR, however, may increase those odds just a bit.
Submitted by: bobrayner