The Ultimate CB Radio For Your Custom Van: Johnson Messenger 130A!

Illustration for article titled The Ultimate CB Radio For Your Custom Van: Johnson Messenger 130A!

So you took one look at those Detroit Autorama custom vans and you're ready to assemble a snazzed-up 60s Econoline, A100, or Sportvan, complete with Aztec/UFO/Knights airbrush mural. But don't forget the CB, good buddy!

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You know your van's CB must be the old-school 23-channel type, but what kind of oaf starts barking into a handheld microphone, like a cabbie calling the office for a fare, when he wants to announce his special Channel-22-only sale on lids of Acapulco Gold? Uncool! No, you want to bypass those 70s radios completely and outfit your 60s custom van with a CB that sports a telephone handset! This Johnson Messenger CB Radio Telephone- which is sitting at a $16.49 top bid price right now- fits the bill perfectly. Note the Ma Bell-grade mustard-yellow coloring, which should complement your diamond-tucked velour interior just so.

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DISCUSSION

Anybody remember when, in order to keep channel X from walking all over channel (X-1) and channel (X+1), FCC regs prohibited frequency synthesis, you were required to have a separate crystal tuned for each channel you wanted? Only the expensive high-end transceivers had crystal sockets for all 23 channels, but even those, the 23 crystals together cost more than the radio you plug them into.

Remember those assholes who'd buy 250-watt or 1000-watt linear amplifiers, intended for the 10-meter Ham Radio band, and just stomp all over everybody? And the FCC CB cops had cars with directional antennas they'd drive around trying to hunt those bums down, so they could tear down their illegal over-20-feet-high antennas and seize their radios.