The Top 84 Lemons of the Capitol Offense 24 Hours of LeMons

The "Washington DC" 24 Hours of LeMons race (held at Summit Point Motorsports Park in West Virginia) took place a couple of weeks back, and it was one of the all-time best!

First of all, a huge German luxury car took the overall win, then a Subaru-engined East German car won the Index of Effluency, we had our first-ever supercharged GM 3800 and the first-ever BMW V12-powered Ford Thunderbird... and after that we enjoyed a machine-gun-versus-Chrysler-Sebring Second Amendment Extravaganza. Gotta love West Virginia's lax full-automatic-weapons policies (and the cheapness of used Sebrings).

Next weekend, get ready for the B.F.E. Grand Prix in Colorado; I was AWOL at the last couple races— something about getting married— but the LeMons Supreme Court will be in full arbitrary-justice effect at High Plains Raceway.

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Not enough LeMons action for you? Check out the top lemons of past races: Altamont '07Arse Freeze '07Altamont '08Ohio '08New England '08South '08Texas '08Arse Freeze '08Texas Spring '09South Spring '09Reno '09New Orleans '09New England '09Buttonwillow '09South Fall '09Ohio '09Texas Fall '09Arse Freeze '09Phoenix '10South Winter '10Texas Winter '10Sears Point '10Detroit '10New Orleans '10Goin' For Broken '10South Spring '10Dallas Summer '10
Photographs by Nick Pon, Team Big Red, and FinalGear.
Disclosure: Murilee Martin gets crazy baksheesh for his work on the 24 Hours of LeMons Supreme Court

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1. Sgt Schultz Zwei, Mercedes-Benz S500
Winner on laps

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2. Duct Tape Motorsports, BMW 318iS
Winner, Class Good

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3. Tiger's First PGA (Probably Gettin' Arse) Racing, Mercury Cougar XR7
Winner, Class Bad
Winner, Least Horrible Yank Tank

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4. Team Paisley, Subaru Impreza

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5. Mod Squad Racing, Toyota MR2

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6. Team Pro-Crash-Duh-Nation, Alfa Romeo Milano

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7. Near-Orbital Space Monkeys, BMW 528e

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8. The Volvo ElCowMino, Volvo 240
Winner, Grassroots Motorsports Most From The Least award

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9. Government Motors Racing, Mazda 626

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10. Deconstruction, BMW 318

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11. Dai Mondai II, Toyota Corolla

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12. Booby Prize Racing, Nissan 200SX

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13. FASTish & The FURRiest, Volvo 240

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14. Keystone Kops, Volvo 240

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15. The B Team, Ford Escort LX

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16. Nemesis Ridiculi, Nissan 240SX

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17. Track Pillagerz!, Buick Le Sabre

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18. Cow Patch Kidz, Audi 80

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19. World Class Motorsports Livers, Geo Storm

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20. The Bridesmaids, BMW 535i
Winner, Big Tool award

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21. Ricky Bobby/Laughing Clown Malt Liquor, Ford Thunderbird Turbo Coupe

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22. Greenhouse Gassholes, BMW 325e

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23. Rusty Bolt Racing, Porsche 944

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24. Track Daze of Thunder, Volkswagen GTI

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25. Fissure Brothers Racing, Toyota Celica

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26. No Whammies, Honda CRX

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27. Ghetto Motorsports, Eastern Chapter, Chevrolet Malibu

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28. Team Cardorks, Acura Integra

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29. Shallow Pockets Racing, Volkswagen Golf

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30. Team Margaritaville, BMW 325

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31. Schumacher Taxi Service - Revenge of the CoROLLa, Toyota Corolla FX-16

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32. Big Red, Geo Metro Convertible
Winner, Class Ugly

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33. Elmo's Revenge, Saturn SL2

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34. Gasholes, Ford Mustang

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35. Obamacare, BMW 325iS

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36. MTV's Jersey Shore Racing Team, Dodge Daytona ES

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37. Sinical Racing, BMW 325i

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38. Team 44 Cup, Porsche 944

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39. FML Motorsports, Ford Mustang

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40. Overengineer'd Racing, BMW 325i

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41. Morrows Auto & Woodstock's NAStiCAR Quest For the Holy Nickelbag, Pontiac Grand Prix
Winner, Best Carbureted

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42. DIRTy e-Thirties, BMW 325e

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43. Final Gear: Bootleggin' It, Pontiac Grand Prix

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44. Days Of Plunder, Saturn SC2

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45. Metro-Dade Vice Squad, Mazda RX-7

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46. We Are Fubar, Pontiac Grand Prix

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47. The Nerd Herd, Infiniti J30

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48. Please Start! Racing, Plymouth Acclaim

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49. Nutjob Racing, Honda Civic Wagovan

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50. Huntin' Tewwowist Wabbits, Mitsubishi Eclipse

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51. Maryland Scratchers, BMW 535i

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52. Team Chickin Lickin, BMW 325

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53. BuckSnort Racing, BMW E30

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54. Funky Kong, Fiat X1/9

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55. Misfit Toys Racing, Wartburg 311
Winner, Index of Effluency award

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56. Dorks of Hazard, Dodge Charger

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57. Mannschaft Panzers, Audi 4000 Quattro

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58. Dai Mondai I, Toyota MR2

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59. GoGodyne Racing, Nissan 300ZX

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60. DOS Boot Racing, Volkswagen GTI

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61. The Meat Wagon, Honda Civic

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62. Team Police Brutality, Lincoln Mark VIII
Quickest lap time of race (1:55.113)

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63. Team Cosworthless, Ford Escort

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64. Schumacher Taxi Service: GI Slow, Toyota MR2

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65. Scuderia Fluffball, Fiat 128
Winner, Organizer's Choice award

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66. The Lemon Juicers, Ford Mustang LX

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67. Team Self-Tapping Screws, Chevrolet Camaro

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68. Top Fool Elemonator, Subaru Impreza

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69. DeCuzzi Racing Tele tubby formerly Speed Racer Style, Pontiac Fiero

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70. Morrows Auto & Snoopy's Quest For the Holy Nickelbag, GMC 1-ton Van

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71. Trophy Wife Racing, Toyota MR2

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72. Oil Pains, Pontiac Grand Am

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73. ReVolvolution Racing, Volvo 850 Wagon

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74. Adopted By Jets, Saab 99

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75. Team Nein24, Porsche 924
Winner, Judges' Choice award

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76. BoneYard Racing, Dodge Neon

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77. The E-Lemon-ators, Mercury Cougar
Winner, Heroic Fix Award

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78. Pimpalicious, Cadillac Seville SLS

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79. Baghdad Taxi, Honda CRX

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80. Scuderia Limoni, Alfa Romeo Milano Verde

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81. Champions On Fire, Nissan 240SX

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82. Stugots Racing, Ford Thunderbird

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83. F.A.C.E. Racing, Pontiac Fiero

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84. Team Police Brutality - Beating Up Breast Cancer, Ford Thunderbird

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