The Top 76 Lemons of the North Dallas Hooptie 24 Hours of LeMons

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How about four Taurus SHOs in the top ten, along with the amazing Mid-Drive Crisis Mirage? Only in Texas, race fans!

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Temperatures got into the triple digits and that Texas heat done barbecued vast quantities of brake pads, connecting rods, and head gaskets. How is it that so many of the super-fragile SHOs held together so well? Perhaps it's just natural selection at work: now that most of the Yamaha V6 engines in Texas got blowed up by LeMons teams during the last couple of years, only the engines with no weak points are left!

Disclosure: Murilee Martin gets paid crazy baksheesh for his work on the LeMons Supreme Court.
Photographs by Nick Pon.

Not enough LeMons action for you? Check out the top lemons of past races: Altamont '07Arse Freeze '07Altamont '08Ohio '08New England '08South '08Texas '08Arse Freeze '08Texas Spring '09South Spring '09Reno '09New Orleans '09New England '09Buttonwillow '09South Fall '09Ohio '09Texas Fall '09Arse Freeze '09Phoenix '10South Winter '10Texas Winter '10Sears Point '10Detroit '10New Orleans '10Goin' For Broken '10South Spring '10

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Illustration for article titled The Top 76 Lemons of the North Dallas Hooptie 24 Hours of LeMons

1. Red Rocket Ratnest Revival, Ford Taurus SHO
Overall Winner

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2. Race Hard Race Ugly #94, BMW 325iS
Winner, Class Good

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3. LRE, Datsun 240Z
Winner, Class Bad
Winner, Highest Placing 70s Contender award

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4. Larnbacher Foles Racing, Acura Integra

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5. WARTHOG RACING, BMW 325e

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6. Live Oak Nudist Resort Inc, Ford Taurus SHO

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7. Mid-Drive Crisis, Mitsubishi Mirage
Winner, Class Ugly

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8. Team Operation, BMW 318i

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9. Warhunks, Ford Taurus SHO

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10. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO

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11. Live Oak Nudist Resort II, BMW 320i

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12. INGLORIOUS BASTERDS RACING— LRE

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13. Lost In The Dark, Mazda Miata

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14. CajunCoonasses dba Speed Racer, Saturn SC2

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15. Summer's Eve Racing, BMW 325i

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16. They Ain't Right (You Ain't Wrong), Toyota MR2

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17. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort ZX2

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18. Unpimp Ze Lemon, Volkswagen Scirocco

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19. Animal Hospice, Mazda RX-7

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20. Wing-Nuts, Nissan 200SX

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21. Zebra Racing, Toyota Pickup

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22. Property Devaluation Racing II, Ford Thunderbird,

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23. Team Festivus, Ford Festiva

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24. Shake And Bake, Ford Mustang

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25. Serious Business Motorsports, BMW 325e

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26. Team Skidmark, Toyota Celica

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27. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano
Winner, Grassroots Motorsports Most From The Least award

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28. Reel 'Em In Racing, Toyota Celica

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29. Formula M— As In Mullet, Ford Mustang

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30. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra

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31. Limp Richard Racing, Mazda Protege

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32. Normal Y Ass Parade D, Toyota Paseo

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33. French Revolution, Toyota Camry

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34. Team JB-Weld, Pontiac Grand Prix

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35. MetroSexual, Geo Metro

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36. Loose Screw Racing, Toyota MR2

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37. Violent Running Gang, Honda Civic

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38. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO

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39. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird

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40. Gashole Motorsports, Honda Accord

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41. Team Sensory Assault, Mazda RX-7
Winner, Heroic Fix award

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42. Theissen's Revenge, BMW 325e

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43. www.team8racing.com, Porsche 924

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44. NUTS & BOLTS RACING, Nissan 300ZX

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45. Abigisch Messen Gemachen Schweinrennengruppe, Mercedes-Benz 280
Winner, Long-Ass Weekend award

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46. Pollock Redux, Toyota Celica

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47. Dirty Some Beaches, Honda Civic Wagovan

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48. Lost In The Dark II, Ford Probe

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49. Inspite Racing, Honda Prelude

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50. Scuderia Toro Roto, Mazda RX-7

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51. Team Inspired Vintage, Ford Taurus SHO

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52. Hoosier Daddy, Mitsubishi Galant

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53. Petty Cash Motorsports, Pontiac Grand Prix

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54. Team Flying Wrench, Nissan 300ZX

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55. Prancing Donkeys, Acura Integra

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56. Team Miagra, Mazda Miata

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57. The Pretenders/Ferari Racing, Datsun 240Z

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58. Team Blue Goose 2, Volkswagen Rabbit
Winner, Organizer's Choice award

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59. Team Mullet, Toyota Supra

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60. Toxic Asset Racing Program Clown Car, Toyota MR2

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61. King Fu and the Fu King Racers, Toyota Paseo

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62. Bastardos de LeMons, Lincoln Mark VIII
Winner, I Got Screwed award

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63. S.N.U.T., Volvo 244

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64. Crewe Le Pew Redeaux, Renault Le Car
Winner, Index of Effluency

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65. Nigerian Prince Racing, Honda Prelude

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66. Valhalla Wagon Rednex Inc, Volkswagen Golf

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67. Reel 'Em In Racing II, Toyota MR2

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68. Property Devaluation Racing, Ford Fairmont Wagon

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69. The Pirates of Plano, Nissan Altima

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70. Blue Oval Cult Racing, Ford SHO-Stang
Winner, Least Most Horrible Yank Tank award

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71. Boehm Racing, SAAB 900S

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72. RSC Racing, Eagle Talon

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73. Team Clunker, Nissan 300ZX

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74. Last Chance Racing, Ford Probe

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75. The A Team, Mazda Miata

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76. Nazi Unterseeboote Semen a.k.a. The Semen N.U., Dodge Stealth

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DISCUSSION

dealchicago-old
dealchicago

Im interested in LeMons but am not convinced at all that a lot of these cars are as cheap as they claim