Tesla, at least for the moment, has quite the limited manufacturing capacity. For most consumers, that doesn’t matter one whit. But one of the end results of that is Tesla’s lineup is constantly shifting and moving in subtle ways. So it may not surprise you that Tesla banished the base model “standard range” Tesla Model X and Tesla Model S from its lineup.
In an effort to “simplify” its offerings, the “standard range” cars, which offered approximately 285 miles of range, are now no longer being sold, Reuters reported. If you’d like to march your beautiful self into a Tesla dealership or onto the company’s website and buy a Model S or Model X right now, you will only have a choice of the “Long Range” or “Performance” trim levels, which offer 370 miles and 345 miles of range on the Model S, respectively (the “Performance” trim, in case you haven’t figured it out, trades some range for speed, with a zero to 60 time of as little as 2.4 seconds). Plus options, of course.
But, the logic follows, if you’re eliminating your cheapest level of something, then your next one up is the new “cheapest.” Which means the base price for the Model S and Model X have gone up $4,990, as a result, to $79,990 and $84,990, respectively.
If you’re a little confused about how all this is working, frankly, so was I, and I think about cars so much I am literally paid to think about cars. Do not feel shame for your lack of car knowledge in this instance. Tesla’s various ranges and the prices of those ranges are pretty fluid, and the whole “how we got here” of the S/X lineup reads more like lore from the Silmarillion at this point than anything else. But these paragraphs from back in April in a Car And Driver blog will give you the recent history:
The January announcement increased prices for the Model S and Model X by $18,000 and $15,000, respectively. Even Tesla’s misleading “after savings” price on its configurator, which doesn’t factor in the $1200 destination charge and optimistically assumes thousands in fuel savings, looked too dear. Now the base Model S, called the Standard Range, reaches an estimated 285 miles for $79,200, a $7000 discount from late January when Tesla again changed its prices (but with less than the early January base car’s maximum 310-mile range). We’ll remind you the older 75D was another $2000 cheaper, but with only a 259-mile range.
The former Extended Range option, renamed Long Range, is $89,200. It boosts the range from the previous car’s 335 miles to 370 while chopping the price by $5000. The Performance trim is $3750 less than before, at $100,200, while the $20,000 Ludicrous mode remains for a claimed zero-to-60-mph time of 2.4 seconds. The claimed range of the Performance trim also improves from 315 to 345 miles.
If you utter that incantation at midnight on the summer solstice, Elon Musk emerges from a ouija board and gives you a free download of the Joe Rogan Experience. And that’s just the short version from the past couple of months.
The base price of the Tesla Model 3 “Standard Range Plus,” which is the cheapest Model 3 you can get without physically walking into a Tesla dealership or by physically picking up a phone and ordering it like some sort of old timey caveman, is also being lowered to $38,990, from whatever the hell it was before.
I can’t keep track anymore. Just... have some money and get a Tesla, if you want one. I can’t tell you how much money, or which car you’ll be getting. It’ll probably change tomorrow.