Most Jalopnik readers possess a enough common sense to know how to tow a car, but just in case, they've identified ten ways you shouldn't try to transport your vehicle.
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Photo Credit: Weibo via Car News China
10.) With no tow straps
Suggested By: Mechina
Why it's wrong: Towing a car implies that it's somehow attached to the vehicle towing it. What's happening in this picture then isn't so much towing as it is a Grand Cherokee sitting on top of a truck, waiting to start an accident.
Photo Credit: Mechina, Facebook
9.) With something not designed for towing
Suggested By: Straightsix 9904
Why it's wrong: Just because it works doesn't mean it's a good idea. Towing a car with a motorcycle, or an underpowered econobox can be done — but you won't have a good time, it certainly won't be easy, and it's likely not at all safe.
Photo Credit: Coming Through
8.) In the back of a UHaul
Suggested By: waveridin1959
Why it's wrong: The issue of actually securing the car comes into play again here (check out Richard Hammond's experience with that issue), but the first hurdle is getting the car inside. And, well, that doesn't always go as smoothly as you'd hoped.
7.) With a human…in any way
Suggested By: Ravey Mayvey Slurpee
Why it's wrong: Pulling a car with your arms or legs is difficult, tiring, and slow. Nine out of 10 dentists recommend against pulling one with your teeth. And with your eyes, or maybe your genitals... oh God ...just please stop. Rent a truck or something, please.
6.) Sideways inside a van
Suggested By: wwu240z was the old me
Why it's wrong: How did the Mazda get inside the van? How is it getting out? That can't be good for the side of the car, right? There are so many questions surrounding this, but there are two solid takeaways: don't put a car in a van, and if you do put a car in a van, you will get stopped by the cops.
5.) With a forklift
Suggested By: MoRphine-2
Why it's wrong: Forklifts look to be surprisingly efficient way to steal cars. They also look to be surprisingly bad news for the car that's being stolen, in this case an ex-dictator's yellow Ferrari. Generally avoid the forklift as a means for transporting your car.
4.) With a rope, with the steering locked
Suggested By: brblunch
Why it's wrong: The tow-rope-with-someone-steering is already a risky strategy (just check out this story), so if you're going to try it, please don't allow the steering lock to be engaged. It's all fun and games until a WRX gets hurt like this.
3.) With the car not in neutral
Suggested By: Vracktal……
Why it's wrong: A transmission in gear or in park is designed to keep your car from rolling. Towing behind another vehicle requires the car to roll. A+B=C: put your car in neutral before you try to tow it.
2.) By a part not firmly attached to the car
Suggested By: Dr_Watson
Why it's wrong: The weight of a car should be taken into consideration when deciding where to attach you towing mechanism. Do you think the plastic bumper on your Geo can withstand 2,000 plus pounds of force, plus whatever resistance the snow is adding? The chassis probably can, which is why it's the better option.
1.) On its roof
Suggested By: Stevo777
Why its wrong: This one should be pretty self explanatory, but as the video clearly demonstrates, it is not. Cars move on wheels. Do not try to move a car on a part other than the wheels.