The Ten Worst Public Transit Experiences You'll Ever Hear

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Europeans prefer to use public transit. Americans try to avoid it. Here are ten reasons why.


10.) Sweating in NYC

There's always a reason for a train car to be empty. crown victor victoria learnt this the hard way:

My first summer living in NYC, the C train rolls into the station during morning rush hour and one car is totally empty. I do a mental FUCK YEAH and jump on, not knowing that the empty summer train car is a sure sign of busted AC. I was young and naive, and my "hmm this seems sketchy" senses had not yet been finely honed.

In this case, it was indeed busted AC plus an unconscious homeless dude who had soiled himself at one end of the car. Couldn't get back to the platform in time to switch cars, and the doors between cars were not opening, so I spent a very long ride between stops, sitting in what was essentially a poop-fueled broiler.

Best Monday ever.

Suggested By: crown victor victoria, Photo Credit: Getty Images


9.) Urinating on the move

It looked like water. It wasn't.

MixItUp:

I sat in pee on the T in Boston.

Happens! Unfortunately.

Suggested By: MixItUp, Photo Credit: Mr.TinDC


8.) Not flying TWA

TWA could make you start hating TriStars. Ad_absurdum_per_aspera:

Back when Carl Icahn was just learning that it's easier to take over an airline than to run it properly, TWA had some L-1011's. Normally I really liked that plane, but a lot depends on who's operating it.

A colleague and I finished up our business in Washington ahead of schedule, so I called TWA to see if we could get the afternoon flight back home to San Francisco rather than the redeye. I gave the lady our flight information, and she said, "Your flight has been cancelled. Have a nice day," and hung up...

Read the rest here!

Suggested By: Ad_absurdum_per_aspera:, Photo Credit: Aero Icarus


7.) Mixing up priorities

Being older and alone doesn't necessarily mean you deserve the priority seat the most. Lockon Stratos GN-002 was young but with a bad kidney:

One day during one of my dialysis's, I got more dialyze more then my normal routine. This made me feel weaker then other times. To me it felt so bad that I could barely make it to the bus stop. The stop was just around the corner from the hospital. When I was waiting for the bus I felt really bad, I thought of going back in hospital. I just wanted to go home. When the bus came by and i got onboard i sat in front bus seat. Were sometimes the elderly or lazy sit. Most of the time when the bus gets at the hospital stop, it usually is empty because the stop before the hospital is the station where the that transit line ends.

So once the bus started to get more and more people the bus started to get crowded. By the middle of the way home the bus got pack full, so there was very little room left. In one of the stops a women, I want to say no older then 50, got onboard and wanted to sit down. She literally ask the driver to move me because i was in the handicap spot. WHAT???? I was still feeling like shit then they make me get up, i can even descried what i was feeling. The driver said i had to move he didn't even let me explain what i had. Besides feeling bad, she also talk shit embarrassing me. People start to look, so i moved to come down. To this day i don't know if i was in the wrong or were they right? All i remember clearly is they both talk shit. The only justification i want to give is because i look young.

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Read the rest of the story here!

Suggested By: Lockon Stratos GN-002, Photo Credit: Getty Images


6.) 'Oh cock' is what he said

amlb146 decided never to take the bus again after this experience at the campus:

I was taking the (extremely crowded bus) to the downtown campus, and was forced to stand up in the back of the bus because there were no seats available. Whatever. I get to burn a few more calories. Apparently we had Mr. Grosjean himself as our driver, because we seemed to take every single corner on three wheels, and there was zero thought of driving a fully loaded bus smoothly. That shit was terrifying. Until we had to turn down a slight incline. The driver yanked he bus around a street corner that was on a slight hill, and made all of the passengers fall on their asses.

Except for me. I managed to avoid the ground, but ended up sitting on some dude's lap. I've never felt a dick other than mine before, but I can only hope he was just carrying a massive pencil in his trousers. To make matters worse, he looked at me in the eye, and suggestively said, "Hey there."

I noped the fuck out and walked back to main campus. Skipped my downtown classes that week.

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Suggested By: amlb146, Photo Credit: AP Images


5.) Getting darker

Bad maintenance equals bad times when it comes to a long-distance bus.

Ad_absurdum_per_aspera:

Whatever went wrong left the bus cold and dark at the side of the road in the mountains.

It was there for nearly five hours (a time inflated by the fact that the mechanic they summoned brought the wrong part the first time and had to make another trip; I would be shocked, shocked, to find that he was getting paid by the mile to use his pickup on company business, as well as by the hour). Fortunately, the passengers pooled their snack food and breath mints and whatever else they might have brought, and one of them had a cell phone with a bright backlight (the only aspect of the cellphone that did much good up there), which they used as emergency lighting for the restroom aboard the bus.

Meanwhile, I was waiting at the bus depot. And waiting. And waiting.

Read the rest of the story here!

Suggested By: Ad_absurdum, Photo Credit: Getty Images


4.) Having some Amtrak fun

A delayed Amtrak service is still faster than steam locomotives were. Also, less glamorous. shop-teacher:

I will never set foot on another Amtrak train (technically its public transportation). I was going around the country several summers ago, visiting friends, and decided to take Amtrak from Fayetteville, NC to Washington DC. It was supposed to be a 6 hour trip. Ended up being 11.5 hours. It was hot, so I don't think we ever saw the high side of 30 mph. We spent hour after hour sitting and waiting for freight trains to clear. There was a 4 or 5 year old girl in my car giggling loudly nearly the entire trip, which her family thought was hilarious, so they kept egging her on (the kid finally passed out about half an hour before the trip ended).

By the last hour or so, I decided to try calming my nerves by buying a beer (this was a big deal for me, because I don't drink, never have), but they were out. They were also out of food. When we were finally almost there, and I mean we were 10 minutes away in Arlington, VA, the crew ran out of allowable working hours, and had to park the train. We sat there for an hour, so a new crew could come and kick in in the last 10 minutes. My friend and I had a whole evening planned, but by the time I got there, the Metro had stopped running, and we took a cab to a greasy spoon so I could finally eat dinner at 1:00 am.

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Try Africa!

Suggested By: shop-teacher, Photo Credit: Getty Images


3.) Gore level set to high

The things you don't want to see. willkinton247:

I saw a drunk man who had been hit by a DC Metro train on the Orange line in between Ballston and East Falls Church late one night. I was on the first train that went by after the accident. They hadn't covered him yet, and the lights the police put up to illuminate the scene were all on. All that was left was his torso and head, and one leg. He was laying on his back looking straight up with his eyes wide open. He had a pretty heavy 5 o'clock shadow, and was about my age. It is something that I will never forget.

I called my girlfriend and she came over and just sat with me to help calm my nerves. I didn't get much sleep that night.

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Suggested By: willkinton274, Photo Credit: Getty Images


2.) Welcome to the neighborhood

Next stop? The hospital, if you're lucky. all 4 spinningwas:

On the 43 going down Telegraph in Oakland. Two teenaged kids slide into the seat behind me. One asks for my bus pass. I have a bus pass, but it's expired. I'm not sure why, but I tell them I don't have one. He asks again, "Gimme your bus pass." I again reply I don't have one. Then he says, "I've got a gun, give me your wallet." I say loudly to the bus driver, "Hey driver, this kid says he has a gun and is trying to rob me." I am the only member of my race on the bus. There is absolute silence. Nobody looks or says anything, including the bus driver. However, this rattled the kids a bit. They back off. I jump out of the bus at 14th and Broadway and run.

They stay on the bus.

Suggested By: all 4 spinning, Photo Credit: Getty Images


1.) Time to write a book about it

Where in the hell did BlazinAce Bum Drifter Wheelman go to school?

During the three semesters in which I had to rely on public transportation, more specifically buses, I've been vomitted on, hopped over fucking hobos (as in hobos that were fucking), hauled ass after a protest group decided to set the bus on fire, had to walk the rest of seveal trips after the bus either crashed or broke down, sparta-kicked a woman out the door, exited though the window of a flipped bus, climbed over people's heads for air and had to carry a legless dude into the bus because the fair collector didn't have arms.

Pick one, I guess...

Suggested By: BlazinAce, Photo Credit: AP Images

Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!

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Top Photo Credit: Twentieth Century Fox