Automakers can try all they want to distract consumers with flamboyant model names, but sometimes, it’s just too much.
10.) Buick Park Avenue
When I hear the words “Park Avenue”, I think of doormen, money, Range Rovers, yellow New York taxi cabs and spoiled New York prep school children. I don’t think of this very undesirable Buick sedan.
9.) Honda Odyssey
The Honda Odyssey is a great minivan, but I’m not so sure that the name necessarily matches the role. Reader Megamullin gets it:
As a father of three, I get it. Life with kids is an adventure! Right?
But can you really compare middle-class suburban people-mover’s trips to and from schoolhouses to a near-biblical journey in which you fight against mythical creatures and even the gods themselves in an effort to return home after a legendary war? Methinks not, oh bard of cars. Honda’s been getting a pass on this name for way too long. Nobody even questions the craziness any more.
8.) Suzuki Esteem
One of the best ways to claim self-importance and to make people believe you is to start telling people that you are indeed, important. Right? This is what Suzuki did with the Esteem. But there is nothing esteemed about this car.
7.) Ford Aspire
By naming a car ‘Aspire’, it gives off the impression that those around it should aspire to be more like it. Why would anyone want to do that?
6.) Chevrolet Cavalier
The definition of ‘cavalier’ is to show lack of general concern and be downright careless. Well, that and it’s also a breed of small Spanish dog. This Cavalier though is probably closer to the latter.
5.) Buick Roadmaster
Back in the day, there’s no doubt that families equipped with Buick Roadmasters clocked in tons of miles on road trips and family outings, but I would’t go as far as to say that they ‘mastered roads’.
4.) Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport
Not sure which celebrities are riding in this bad boy, or how many of them are being driven around Europe in a sporty fashion. Who was Chevrolet seriously trying to convince with this type of branding?
3.) Acura Legend
Please Acura, go ahead and tell me what exactly made this car a ‘legend’. I know you guys wanted to break ground with your then new Acura brand and your flashy new flagship sedan, but let’s not push it.
Beats the hell out of RLX, at any rate.
2.) Smart Fortwo
Yes, Smart is a acronym for Swatch Mercedes Art, but who actually knows that or what that means? If you’re going to market a car as a ‘Smart’ car, give it artificial intelligence or something. Maybe Daimler could have licensed that dashboard robot head technology from Nissan, that would’ve be pretty neat.
Suggested By: 472CID , Photo Credit: Smart
1.) Ferrari LaFerrari
The Ferrari, The Ferrari. What else more is there to say?
Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day’s Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It’s by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Top Photo Credit: Smart