The Post Where We Welcome Car Magazine To Our Porsche 911 Variant Rant

Illustration for article titled The Post Where We Welcome Car Magazine To Our Porsche 911 Variant Rant

Car, the self-evidently-named UK buff book, has joined our plea for Porsche to stop the overcomplication of the 911 range. With a Mustang-like 20 flavors available (22 in total), Porsche is beginning to look like Baskin-Robbins. Something must be done!

Initially we thought we were pissing in the wind with our bitching and moaning. Until today. Car calculated there's been a new 911 revealed every 49 days from the day the current facelifted 997 was unveiled on June 6th, 2008 to last month's new Speedster. But wait, as we know there's going to likely be at least two more:

I don't even think the line-up is complete. The Targa, for instance, is only available with four-wheel drive, but what if I want a big glass roof, a hatchback boot and rear-drive? And what about a turbocharged engine with rear-wheel drive and a convertible roof? I'm just not catered for.…

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Agreed. What's next? All we know is we're sick of seeing a new 911 every week (or 49 days as it were) — mostly because each new special edition 911 just makes the rest of the special editions feel less special. Sure, we know you want to make 911 customers feel unique — but if everyone's unique, doesn't that just make everyone the same?

But do we know? Porsche is obviously selling them — and at a profit. And we still love each and every one of the adorably awesome "arse-engined" sports cars — we just wish it weren't so hard to keep track of them all.

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DISCUSSION

bryce-womeldurf
Bryce Womeldurf

They should just stop making everything else, and only produce 911's. Nobody seriously wants a Cayenne. The Panamera's a dog. Sure, the Boxster and Cayman are nice and light, but they make their owners the butts of plenty of homophobic jokes. You could have just as much fun and just as many jokes at your expense in a Miata and not have to pay out the nose. Do what you're good at Porsche, and forget the rest.