The Meaning of True Love, Central Valley Style

Illustration for article titled The Meaning of True Love, Central Valley Style

Yesterday, while I was slaving working at the salt mine day job, a junk fax came in to inform me and my fellow miners coworkers of an offer of a "Valentine's Day Romantic Getaway Vacation" at a freeway motel on the outskirts of Modesto. For $99, we learned, you could take that special someone to a nicotine-yellowed room that had no doubt housed a bubbling red-phosphorus-heavy meth lab the week before and experience exquisite romance to the soundtrack of Jake Brakes on Highway 99 right outside the window. As part of the deal, you'd get "complimentary pink M&Ms and rose petals," you know, to get ol' Cupid all geared up to make with the bow-and-arrow business.

So that's Valentine's Day in the Valley. Of course, we shouldn't stereotype California's Central Valley too heavily here; after all, Merle Haggard, George Lucas, and Joan Didion (to name a few) hail from Central Valley cities. Not only that, the Central Valley feeds the a good chunk of the world with its staggering output of produce. So keep that in mind when you read this Valentine's Day tale of true love and possible redemption in Sacramento. And, yes, we know it might be a hoax, but let's all just suspend our disbelief, as we so often must with matters of the heart. Thanks to tipster king LTDScott for the tip! [Craigslist Sacramento (go here if ad disappears)]

Share This Story

Get our newsletter


Raphael Orlove

Man, what's a homesick, heartbroken Central Valley Kid to do? Oh right, I'm off to go pour my heart out to Huell Howser on California's Gold. See you when a semblance of sanity returns. Which could be never, given that I would be watching California's Gold