The Gulf Of Mexico Oil Spill Is Now The Size Of Jamaica

Illustration for article titled The Gulf Of Mexico Oil Spill Is Now The Size Of Jamaica

New reports claim the Gulf of Mexico oil spill is five times worse than once thought. It's currently leaking around 5,000 barrels of oil into the ocean per day. Isn't environmental damage fun? [O&G via Infrastructurist]

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Flathead Smith and the Screaming Straight Pipes

After considering this massive oil spill we as a nation need to rethink how we currently drill in the deep ocean for our oil and ramifications of our actions. Instead of running piping and valves all over the ocean floor which are prone to failure, and using floating oil rigs which are susceptible to fires and other mishaps. It would be far more economical to punch big holes in the ocean floor directly over oil deposits with thermonuclear bombs and then let the crude oil float up to the surface. The normal Westerly Trade Winds could then just blow the oil up to the mouth of the Mississippi River and from there it could just be skimmed it off and taken it to the refineries in dump trucks.

Another option would be to build a huge earthen dam from Florida to South America and then pump out the Gulf of Mexico. The oil flowing from the wells could then be allowed to form a new Ocean of Oil that could then be sucked out with hoses.