In case you haven't noticed, our freedoms are under attack every day in this country, including our right to consume disgusting, diabetes-causing giant sodas and our right to use firearms irresponsibly.

The latest threat to our freedoms has to deal with the right to go 85 mph on Texas' insanely fast and controversial State Highway 130 toll road. But this threat doesn't come from overzealous cops or concerned citizens' groups — it comes from feral hogs.

According to this report from Austin's KXAN News, the first night where the 85 mph section of SH 130 was open resulted in four crashes attributed to the giant pigs. KXAN's story features police dash cam video where you can see entire packs of the hogs running across the roadway. On the night when the beasts caused four wrecks, at least one car was totaled, according to KXAN.

It's like hitting a deer, but kind of worse, Lockhart Police Chief Michael Lummus told KXAN.

"Anyone that's ever struck a deer, they know that they're in the ditches and you don't see them until they're in front of you and it's the same with these. But they're even lower."


This is a disappointing development. We finally get permission to legally do the speeds most Texans drive at anyway, and now these freedom-hating hogs have come around to try and ruin it for us. Bunch of haters, man.

Officials in Caldwell County have responded in traditionally Texan style by putting a bounty on the hogs' heads — $2 per tail — but I don't see that putting a big dent in their pig population.


You tell us, Jalops. How do we get rid of the feral hogs before they do any more damage?

Photos credit Shutterstock, KXAN