Questions, existential questions have been swirling through my mind in recent days. Mostly because I’ve been sick and I’ve been taking a lot (I mean a lot) of NyQuil, but also, ALSO, because the 2016 Chevy Camaro is almost upon us. Mainly, I’ve been wondering if it has a butt. And the answer today is, it does!!!!

That’s it, right up there. It looks like GM forgot to install taillights, but the Mustang GT350R has carbon fiber wheels and Chevy probably figured that they need to lose weight somewhere, too.

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But it’s got other details, instead of taillights. We can see already that, from the rear at least, it won’t be some major revolution in styling over the old model, though GM does say that the new car is actually slightly smaller than the old one. The cutouts for where taillights should go, as well, look more curvy than the outgoing rectangles that adorned so many Camaro butts of old.

Plus there’s that new wing, which I don’t recall ever seeing on a base Camaro of late, so we may actually be getting a gander at the backside of an SS, or, dare I say it, maybe even a 1LE or a Z28 or a ZL1 or a X73 or a 5-#82, one or two of which I might’ve just made up.

At this point, you’re probably also wondering if the Camaro has a hood.

And the answer to that is yes, it does.

What you’re looking at actually isn’t a Bat-a-rang that’s been left in the microwave a little too long, but the big metal bit that’ll keep the engine contained. Chevy says they’ve been going for a “shrink-wrapped” look, and to be perfectly honest, this can either be a very, very, very good thing, or a bad one. I haven’t made up my mind yet, with all the creases and curves and lumps and bumps in this hood, but it’ll probably trend towards the latter.

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Because Camaros should have creases and curves and lumps and bumps. Even if it does make certain parts look like plastic Choco-tacos.

By now, I’m sure, your consternation has reached a full boil, a roiling soup of molten lava, wondering if this car, which has a butt, and a hood, also has an engine. And it has that, too.

The 6.2-liter LT1 V8 will have literally at least some horsepower, as it’s derived from the 460-horse engine in the Corvette, and it’ll be able to put that power down through the new ‘Maro’s magnetic suspension. Before it all shoots out the back through these tailpipes:

See? And you thought the new Camaro wouldn’t have a butt or a hood or an engine or tailpipes. You thought it would just be Fred Flintstone’s car, and you’d have to drive it with your feet.

You were wrong.


Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.

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