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At least one third of the Jalopnik crew is a vegetarian, so we get a special thrill when livestock make a break for it. A destined-for-Burger-World cow made a break for the big, big outside world when she busted out of her Schlachthof pen, smashed through a fence, dodged a freaking train as well as narrowly avoided being beaned by a Suburban and other vehicles. For her encore, she swam the icy Missouri River before finally being brought down in a fusillade of tranquilizer darts (well, okay, three).

Cow Escapes Meat Plant, Dodges Cars, Train [Forbes]

Carry On My Wayward Cow: Bovine Totals Two Cars [Internal]