Thanks For Finding My Lost Mercedes That I Totally Forgot About

All image credits: Coys
All image credits: Coys

I have a lot of stuff and I’m not the most organized person in the world (that’s what the help is for) so from the time to time I lose things. Credit cards, diamond rings, razor blades and 1996 Mercedes-Benz SL500 convertibles are all fair game.

So you can imagine my surprise when I stumbled across one of my old cars on Car Throttle this week. Speaking to the website, the CEO of Coys auction house, Chris Routledge, had this to say about me:

“This is a car with a fantastic story! Purchased as a birthday present and driven only 80 miles before the owner lost the keys and never drove it again. It even comes with a letter written by the owner’s butler verifying its mileage and its provenance.

“Had she not lost the keys and used it regularly, we estimate it would now be worth between £5,000 and £7,000, but the fact that it has kept such a low mileage and has not been driven in more than twenty years makes it worth between £45,000 and £55,000.

“What happened with the keys remains a mystery but the car comes with new keys for the new owner.”


Now that he mentions it, I do kind of vaguely remember this SL, even though admittedly 1996 was a long time ago. I’m not as young as I look (but here’s the secret: caviar and champagne every morning for breakfast and crushed pearl facial massages after lunch).

Illustration for article titled Thanks For Finding My Lost Mercedes That I Totally Forgot About

Actually, I remember the birthday party more. It was when I still had the London flat. My friends threw the party and we were drunk for a week. In that haze fueled by Dom and Madonna (the two pair delightfully), I do remember a set of keys being pressed into my hand. But I don’t remember driving it. I may have a lot of flaws, but drunk driving is not one of them.

And then the next week... I left. I think it was because I was closing on a property in Monaco and there was an issue with the zoning there that I had to go personally oversee. And... oh my God I forgot about the flat in London! Shit, not again.


I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cut this one short, I need to get there as soon as I can and make sure the servants are still alive and that they’ve been feeding themselves this whole time. Because if they haven’t, that would be... bad.

Illustration for article titled Thanks For Finding My Lost Mercedes That I Totally Forgot About

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.

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Jerk Dently

I was alerted by my hometown bank when I was in my 20's that I had a savings account there that I had opened when I was 11 and it had $56.00 in it, so I know exactly how you feel.