Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Texas Car Dealer Slashes Prices, Customers

Illustration for article titled Texas Car Dealer Slashes Prices, Customers

We love Texas. It's a state where the women are smart and beautiful, the license plate frames are illegal and everyone is armed. Robert "Jack" Parker was found guilty today of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after attacking one of his customers with a machete. According to the guy's defense attorney, he made a "Bold Move" with his machete because he feared his customer (who was just trying to pick up his plates) was making his "Way Forward" to get a gun. Having lived in Texas most of our lives, and having worked for a congressman in the area, we can assure you that the chances were more than even that the guy actually had a gun. Let this be a lesson: when buying a car in Texas keep your hands in plain sight at all times and for god's sake, get the rustproofing.


Tyler Car Dealership Owner Convicted of Machete Attack [Houston Chronicle]

Use A License Plate Frame, Go To Texas Jail [Internal]

Share This Story

Get our newsletter



To be fair, I have once almost brought a gun to a Subaru dealership to get my car from the service department's crack team of idiotic kidnappers. That and this was in Dallas. The shame...