Someone Please Return My Rattlesnake, Radioactive Uranium, and My Open Bottle of Kentucky Deluxe

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In what sounds like an average Wednesday morning in Logan County, Oklahoma, police pulled over two people driving a stolen car last week with expired tags. Oh, and it was also filled with guns, a rattlesnake, a canister of uranium powder and an open bottle of whiskey.


Suspects Stephen Jennings and Rachael Rivera were pulled over for expired tags July 10 at 11 a.m. in the morning, Oklahoma News 4 reports.

Again, they were driving around in this ridiculous manner at 11 a.m. What does a stolen car full of wildly different hazardous materials even look like in the cold light of day?

Police quickly discovered that not only were vehicle’s tags expired, but that the car was reported stolen. Jennings, who was driving the stolen car, immediately told police about a gun in the center console and the Timber rattlesnake in the terrarium in the back seat.

While searching the vehicle, police found the gun appropriately next to an open bottle of Kentucky Deluxe Blended Whiskey, which is definitely sold in plastic bottles (never a good sign). There was also a canister of uranium dust, and police are still trying to figure out its purpose besides adding even more spice to a dangerous good time.

Plus, it means someone out there is missing at least some of this stuff.

“When that happens of course, we call in a company that deals with that specifically and it’s taken safely into possession,” Guthrie Police Sgt. Anthony Gibbs said. “The uranium is the wild card in that situation.”

I’d say this is a whole deck of wild cards. Jennings is charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, transporting an open container of liquor, operating a vehicle with a suspended license, and failure to carry security verification form. He won’t face charges for the rattlesnake, as it’s apparently rattlesnake season in Kentucky and Jennings has a hunting license. (Apparently this extends to having a live one in your car.) Rivera, who has a former felony conviction, was charged with possession of a firearm.

I don’t often say this, but these folks need Jesus.



Looks like Florida Man needs to step up his game today.