SnowBot Has Closest Arse Freeze-A-Palooza LeMons Lap Predictions, Wins Fabulous Prizes!

Illustration for article titled SnowBot Has Closest Arse Freeze-A-Palooza LeMons Lap Predictions, Wins Fabulous Prizes!

Remember the You Guess The Effluency Contenders' Laps contest we had, oh, nearly a month ago? I've finally gone through the predictions, and we have a winner!


First, let's talk about those prizes, which are indeed quite cheap fabulous. First, there's one each Black Metal V8olvo and Faster Farms Chickens team T-shirts. These shirts were designed and printed by South Carolina road racer and über-artist Walker Player Canada, creator of the famous Driveshaft Through The Skull safety warning symbol; you didn't see them at the race because it wasn't exactly T-shirt weather at Thunderhill that weekend (though you can buy your own Faster Farms shirt on eBay, courtesy of Team Captain Belvedere Adrian). I'm also throwing in a copy of LeMons Chief Perp Lamm's book, You Are What You Drive.

And who gets this truly cheap fabulous stuff? SnowBot, that's who! As it turned out, the unexpectedly good performance- in fact, shockingly good- of the Eyesore Racing Frankenmiata, Italian Stallions Fiat X1/9, and- most of all- the winning Metro Gnome CBR900RR-powered Geo Metro totally hosed everyone's predictions, but SnowBot's cumulative error was just 1,106 laps… two laps fewer than runner-up UDMan. If UDMan had been a little less optimistic about the chances of Team Unsafe At Any Speed (he guessed 300 laps, they did 239), he'd have won… but we understand that he's biased about Corvairs, so I'll send him a Black Metal V8olvo shirt as well.

Of the readers who made semi-coherent predictions for all the teams on the list (note: All lap totals are unadjusted for BS Inspection bonuses and penalties. Lap-total guesses for no-show entrants were thrown out. Since Pendejo Racing showed up with a Jaguar XJ-S instead of the expected Alfetta, I just used the XJ-S lap total in my calculations… because, really, what's the difference?), here are the Top 10 rankings:
#1: SnowBot: 1106 laps
#2: UDMan: 1108 laps
#3: Lemons Lover: 1315 laps
#4: SmalleyXB122: 1346 laps
#5: LWW: 1353 laps
#6: Skaspy: 1368 laps
#7: Solracer: 1455 laps
#8: SuperAsiaOne: 1551 laps
#9: Murilee Martin: 1565 laps
#10: Kelly: 1587 laps

So, SnowBot and UDMan: Email me and I'll get your cheap fabulous prizes sent out!



Please tell me there are more V8olvo shirts left, because I'd be happy to pay whatever fair market value probably isn't for one.