Warning: You May Get A Driveshaft Through Your Head!

Illustration for article titled Warning: You May Get A Driveshaft Through Your Head!

While most of you know me as the (now incredibly masculine) voice of Project Car Hell and Down On The Street, I have a day job at which I slave for The Man as a technical writer. These days, that means I write confusing instructions to lead users of software astray, but in the pre-Dot-Com Boom era it meant that I wrote confusing instructions to lead mechanics astray.

When you write for mechanics, you need scary warning symbols to let them know when a screwup will result in serious injury or death, and I felt the standard symbols I had at my disposal were insufficiently terrifying. So, I talked my boss into paying mechanic, road racer, Southern gentleman, and incredibly talented artist, Mr. Walker Player Canada, for some custom warning-symbol artwork made to my exact specifications. Walker is the artist who made the Junkyard Treasure artwork for us, not to mention a bunch of the illustrations on Year One's website, and you're sure to see more of his work here in the future. I figured any image that's really going to grab the attention of a bored bus mechanic thumbing through a thousand-page shop manual would need to involve both skull-and-crossbone imagery and traumatic injury, so I figured the ol' Driveshaft Through The Skull deal would work well. Sadly, my boss made Walker remove the driveshaft from the image, figuring the skull image alone was enough. But today I share this image with the world, and any fellow tech writer who wants the original vector artwork for their own publications should email me (murilee at jalopnik dot com) and I will email you the file.

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One of the guys from the Saturn forums had a projectile from a truck (not sure which part) take out his red line windshield, mirror, passenger seat and rear seat at about 70 MPH. Apparently he was quite startled.

My brother had the blade off his Dodge truck fan zing by his head and blow a hole through the front of his hood (it was propped up).

But I still win. I was trying to pull a 4wd truck off a hill with a Kubota and the tow chain broke as I was turning to check my "progress". Caught me in the right eye. Strangely enough it probably would have killed me if it hadn't hit me in the face.

I put it back together (my face) with 3 band-aids, a telfa pad, and some Johnson and Johnson white medical tape. It will come as no surprise that there was alcohol involved. Or that my ears still ring.