Road Kill Toys

Illustration for article titled Road Kill Toys

Grind passed away on 3rd June 2007 aged 4, after being flattened by a Skandia Juggernaut on the A34 southbound. Born on 3rd August 2003, Grind was educated at Barley Buck's Special Needs School, where he excelled at hopping and basketweaving. Grind was a dedicated and valued member of the Worcester Communist Organisation for 2 years. Grind is survived by 51 brothers, 83 sisters, 154 cousins, 211 nephews and 179 nieces (at time of press). A short service will be held at St Bartholomew's Methodist Church, little Dorking. All inquiries to his best friend Splodge the Hedgehog, 01892 522 429.

Illustration for article titled Road Kill Toys

After a freak accident on Silverstone Racetrack involving Jensen Button's Honda, Splodge passed away on 14th July 2007, aged 2. The beloved son of Nigel and Sally Hedgehog, Splodge was born on 29th April 2005. He was educated at Herts College, where he took an NVQ in joinery. Very popular in the hedgerows of Hertfordshire, Splodge loved indulging his hobbies of rollerblading and kite-flying. His next of kin, Pop the Weasel, will be holding a private ceremony for close friends at Moors Farm, Bracklebury, on 23rd July 2007. Bread and milk will be laid on.

Illustration for article titled Road Kill Toys

Twitch, after a head on collision with a green Ford Mondeo on the A369 westbound, died on 17th March 2007 aged 5. Twitch was born on 25th November 2002. He was educated at Raccoon Finishing School, Berks 2002-2004, where he excelled at playing dead. Twitch dedicated his life to foraging for acorns and sniffing his genitalia. Twitch is survived by his beloved parents Randie and Zilda Raccoon, from Sidcup Kent. His best friend Grind The Rabbit will be holding a funeral service at King Charles the Martyr, Basingstoke.

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