One of the best things about ride-sharing services is you can match the car to your destination. Headed out to the opera? An Uber Black fits the bill. Meeting friends at the bar? Lyft is a solid choice. But what if you want something even more specialized? I mean really specialized?

Uber just launched its first supercar service in Singapore this weekend, offering up rides in a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder or Maserati GranTurismo Coupe. The starting price for the Maserati comes in at $165, while the Lambo commands $200, and both charge $7 a minute after the first 15.

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But what about those times where a Lamborghini is too gauche and a Town Car is just too clean and boring and safe? Enter the new dark horse of the ride-sharing world, Hooptilee!

From the mind of the man that brought the world DUI Telepresence Crown Victoria Figure Eight Racing and the Eastern European venture capitalists behind Spec Land Yacht, it’s a whole new take on ride-sharing.

Rather than showing up to your local watering hole in a mechanically sound four-wheeled appliance, Hooptilee offers you character. What kind of character?

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Autoweek managed to get its grubby mitts on the deck Hooptilee is clandestinely shopping around to investors, and here’s the salient bits:

First of all, nobody drives for Hooptilee unless the vehicle in question is at least 20 years old. Customers will be able to choose various Patina Upgrades, from Grade 1 (some texture) to Grade 5 (adobe-style Bondo and at least three different body-panel colors). All Hooptilee vehicles must pass a minimum exhaust-noise test, producing at least 95 dB at a range of 25 feet, and customers will be able to request vehicles with miserably small (below 1.4 liters in displacement) or absurdly large (more than 400 cubic inches) engine displacements. Faux-tigerskin seat covers, off-brand air fresheners and trash bags used as side windows will be strongly encouraged.

And unlike Lyft, with its gawdawful pink mustaches, you’ll be able identify your Hooptilee by the tell-tale potato used as a gas cap.

So the obvious question is? Uber Lambo or Hooptilee Chevy Stovebolt?