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Report: Trucker Choking On Dr. Pepper Leads To 23 Flavors Of Damaged Cars

Illustration for article titled Report: Trucker Choking On Dr. Pepper Leads To 23 Flavors Of Damaged Cars

A Cadillac-Buick-GMC dealer was the unfortunate victim of a rogue milk truck last Sunday after the truck driver choked on a nice refreshing Dr. Pepper beverage.

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Everyone’s second-favorite maybe-cola soda beverage, provider of 23 mystery flavors (sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, bubbly stuff, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, reportedly beet juice, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, and sugar), was the cause of damage to - and you are not going to believe this - 23 GM models at a dealership in Hermitage, PA.

WFMJ.com reports the driver of the Niemeyer Milk Transfer truck was satisfying his craving for that heartburn-inducing syrupy pop when the pop was suddenly too poppin’ -leading him to choke.

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The throat convulsions were so fierce he lost control of his truck carrying around 8,000 gallons of milk, plowing through a pole, a median, opposing lanes of traffic, and straight into a Cadillac-Buick-GMC dealership - proud seller to the lactose-intolerant demographic of car buyers. Unfortunately there was no The Three Kings moment, and the truck managed to keep its contents.

Luckily the dealership was closed and no one, including the driver, was injured as the dairy truck plowed through little Encores like the kick in the mouth only Dr. Pepper can provide; a kick with the potential to kill.

The driver was cited for careless driving, and the dealership opened up for Labor Day, trucking on to a great day of sales with fantastic deals, regardless of the gaping holes in their structuring.

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This is a Labor Day this GM dealership will recall for a long time to come.

Top shot: WKBN.com, GIF: The Three Kings (1999)

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DISCUSSION

jordanwphillips
Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies

This is a Labor Day this GM dealership will recall for a long time to come.

So cold, I love it.