Räikkönen and Vettel Are The Least Enthusiastic Fiat Spokesmodels Ever

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For some reason unbeknownst to non-marketing mankind, this photo of Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Räikkönen sharing a Fiat 500X is the top news story on Scuderia Ferrari's website right now. Ferrari claims that heavy snow has given its drivers the change to have fun in the car, but I don't see evidence of snow or fun.

The Fiat 500X is some kind of bloated crossover thing that I wouldn't be super excited about, either. Scuderia Ferrari really had to struggle to make this photo of its drivers being understandably bored news, you guys. Really, really struggle. As in, this is one of the biggest "we have to do this for the marketing people" stretches I've seen in a while.

Here was its short caption:

Heavy snowfalls in Maranello over the last few days gave 2015 Scuderia Ferrari drivers Kimi Räikkönen and Sebastian Vettel the chance to have a little fun in the Fiat 500 X. A red version, of course, just like the SF15-T single-seater.

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This implies that there should be some kind of video of the two drivers taking turns hooning the wheels off the pedestrian little mall-crawler on some snow somewhere, but it doesn't even look cold enough for them to be wearing a proper winter jacket in the pics. Nope: no video was added. Just the photo. Perhaps the marketing intern putting content on the site fell asleep mid-post.

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And no! It's not like the S-FIST at all. There are no sexy louvers or curves. It's a 500 that's let itself go, and worst of all, it's not even a proper Rossa Corsa. I'm not even a FerrariChat troll extraordinaire and this color misrepresentation fills me with a slow, stewing rage that's bubbling underneath the surface of this frown. This is a metallic red. The F1 car is a bright nonmetallic hue. The team itself should know this.

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While a well-done race car-centric ad or promotion actually tends to grab my attention, this tie-in proves Tom's point more than anything. Don't force a race car connection when there simply isn't one. The general public will be about as confused about it and unimpressed as your drivers are.

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Photo credit: Scuderia Ferrari

[H/T GrandPrixDiary]