After all the excitement over the Gay Deep Throated Angry Demon 914rrari this morning, the chorus of demons here in the Hell Garage has begun chanting "Small-Block Porsche! Small-Block Porsche!" It's always best to obey the Hell Garage Demons, lest you find yourself driving a silver 4-year-old Camry or some other reliable boring transporation appliance. You go with one of today's choices and you'll be able to laugh smugly at those sellouts who took the easy road... the days will drag by for them, each a gray replica of the one that preceded it, while you roar around town in your V8-ized Porsche!
Swapping a Chevy V8 into a 914 is pretty commonplace, but you have to be serious to tear out a 911's highly sophisticated boxer six in order to drop in a crude-yet-potent pushrod V8 in its stead. Sure, the Porsche engine makes more power per cubic inch, but nothing on the planet can beat the ol' small-block Chevrolet when it comes to power per cubic dollar. So coming at you from the hometown of John Waters, here's a 911 with a Chevy V8 for the absurdly cheap price of $2,800. Whiners will point out that several crucial details have been left out of the car's description (e.g., year of the Porsche, type of Chevy engine, rust status, etc.), but you can rest assured that there's "NO CUTTING!" This might be a 912 with a no-name body kit, floorpan completely rusted through, and a Malaise Special 267 engine crudely welded into the framerails... or it might be just a few easy steps from emerging from the sulfurous flames of your garage! Either way, we recommend a bigger engine than what's in it now.
While you'd certainly get points for your huge, stainless steel testicles (or ovaries) by risking your life with a tail-heavy brute such as a small-block 911, you lose Sleeper Points for having a car that most folks associate with high performance. That's not a worry when you drive a Porsche 924, because even the turbocharged models suffered from some serious Malaise issues in stock form. But drop in a great big Chevy 350 and the 924 becomes an acceleratin' machine like few others. Just take a look at this fine Chevy-motivated '78 924 to see what we mean! Well, sure, the handling takes a bit of a performance hit when you replace the meticulously engineered Porsche rear suspension with a Ford 8" solid axle and simple link setup, and some might object to the automatic transmission... but take this thing to the local dragstrip and you'll be a hero. This car seems to run and drive, but the statement "its not perfect and still needs some fine tuning" might well be Craigslist-ese for "driveshaft vibrates so bad that your vision will remain blurry for a full day after driving this car" or even "only the left front brake works." No problem, though- you'll get it all dialed in, and then you'll be on top of the world!
Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.