We've been working on a screenplay for a film, tentatively titled "Edward Scissordoors." In it, a lonely car with scissors where its doors should be charms neighborhood housewives by carving shrunken-apple heads in the likeness of minor celebrities, inadvertently drawing the envious wrath of the women's knuckle-dragging husbands. In one scene, Edward is pinned down at a cul de sac and forced to swallow one of the apple heads (Meredith Viera) through his plenum. That's as far as we got, narrative-wise, but we figure this one-off Colt Wings Edition, created by scissor-door specialist LSD Doors, will have a good shot at the lead. Interested producers should contact our agent.