Pamela Anderson, Putin, And Vodka: A Russian SUV Manifesto

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Crazy Russian carmaker Dartz, who gained notoriety when Pam Anderson protested their whale penis leather interior, sent us this long manifesto about the golden-locked bombshell with these first pics of their Dartz Prombron Red Diamond and James Bond car. Enjoy.

With every passing day, our collective man-crush on the guy at Dartz grows. First, they fearlessly announce the most ridiculous possible SUV Russia's ever produced: the Dartz Prombron Red Diamond, which was planned to be outfitted with a whale penis leather interior and gold-plated bulletproof windows. Following the popular uproar from groups like PETA and specifically Pamela Anderson, the company backed off the plans and developed a synthetic substitute. They also built this awesome "Penis Watch" car to commemorate the whole episode.


Now they've sent us an email of equal parts nonsense and hilarity:

Hi Jalopnik,
How are You doing?
Pam can't stop. After DARTZ she start to attack Putin :-).
She won us - and instear whale penis seats - customer will get "under-Yeltsin-ass" seats :-)))
What will do Putin after Pam's attack :-)?
Here they are :-)...And also picture from photosession in cannes - without Pammie boobs...
But Latvian Pam is growing and soon You will see her!
best regards,

World famous blonde don't stop her attacks against russians for animals rights.
Her first victim was DARTZ PROMBRON and famous whale penis seats.
And Pam heroically won this battle - DARTZ refused to use any natural materials for this car, and "ThanX, Pam!" was born new generation of car wrap materials - so-called "tactile sensitive wrap films" - like whale skin vinyl, snake skin vinyl and KA$H.KAMO vinyl.
But that's wasn't enough for world best-boobed-blonde.
She start attack on Putin.

"My friends at PETA and I were pleased to see a recent slideshow spotlighting your fondness for animals. Since you've already banned the slaughter of baby seals in Russia, I'm writing to ask that you also ban seal-pelt imports from my native Canada, where almost all seals who are killed are 3 months of age or younger," Anderson wrote to Putin.
The 42-year-old Hollywood celebrity wrote a similar letter to the Russian premier in April last year, but it remained unanswered.
"We are happy to release that our reaction on Pam's e-mail was much faster - and we not only banned our idea and became The Whales Big Friends. We made "Save The Whales Car" which is still waiting Pam, and also we were waiting her at speciall photosession "I'd rather drive naked, than on whale penis" in Cannes. So sad that we got no any answer - and we pictured just a car. With NO whale penis skin".
Dear Pam!
Don't be angry on Russians, we are nice guys, and we also love nature, seals and whales!
Our next car will be covered with gold covered Snake.Skin.Vinyl and seats from Yeltzin airplane - and we hope finally to make a photosession with You!
Good luck in Your battle for animal rights!
Best regards,

Leonard F. Yankelovich
Science, Defence, Luxury
Armored cars, bank security, car design


We get the feeling everyone at the company is having a good old time cleverly poking fun at those taken aback by their ostentatious products.

Besides sending us the world's greatest photoshop mashup, they also included the first finished images of their Prombron Red Diamond Edition, the truck originally planned to have the whale penis leather interior, as well as some preview images of their "James Bond Car." The Red Diamond actually looks pretty badass in that special kind of Russian way. The James Bond-inspired Dartz Prombron Car With The Golden Wheels features a new gold snakeskin material developed following Penisgate which they're draping over a set of seats from Boris Yeltsin's presidential jet.

Is there a Russian translation for ubermench?