A 31-year-old man allegedly hijacked a Toronto Transit Commission bus with a knife in order to get to Tim Hortons. In perhaps the most Canadian story ever, Global News reports that the man believed he had overdosed on drugs and stopped to call 911 on himself.
Daniel Ferreia of Toronto held the bus driver at knifepoint at approximately 12:30 a.m. Friday morning and told the driver to speed through several red lights until they reached a Tim Hortons, at which point he went inside to call 911.
CBC notes that the parking lot the bus pulled into was shared by the Tim Hortons and a McDonald’s. Clearly, the Golden Arches were snubbed in favor of the one substance more addictive than whatever this alleged bus-jacker was overdosing on: Timbits. There is nothing more addictive on this planet than Tim Hortons’ sweet, fluffy, bite-size balls of donut: fact.
Fortunately, the bus was empty at the time, all customers were safely evacuated from the Tim Hortons and the driver was not injured. However, Global News notes that Ferreia has been charged with “assault with a weapon, mischief endangering life, forcible confinement, uttering threats and taking a motor vehicle without consent.”
Next time, skip the drugs and bus-jacking and go directly for the Timbits. That takes a bit more time, but costs much less in the end.
[H/T Jeff! No, I did not hijack a bus. Please send Timbits.]