Nothing Like An Audi Party With Exactly The Right Amount Of Lumens

Illustration for article titled Nothing Like An Audi Party With Exactly The Right Amount Of Lumens

Would you go to your local Audi A3 launch party? I mean, the A3 sedan is nice and all. Bacon donuts are so last year, though.


Something tells me these parties are going to be mostly attended by a bunch of 20-somethings who try and get as much Brooklyn Lager in their pockets before sneaking back to their old Ford Focus parked around the corner.

But macanamera seems to have nailed the planning formula for launching a compact German sedan with the right retweet-to-hipster ratio:

Leaked Guide For Audi's Hipster Parties Is 64 Pages Long, Ridiculous How Germans Plan Parties

Zee color temperature of zee lights must be precisely 5100 degeres Kelvin. Zee table clothz must be of zee finest white linen. Zee edges must be square. Vee must play music; zis music must be hip unt cool. Zee hipness to cool ratio must be between 1.7:1. Also, zee Tvitter is imperative. Vee must recieve at least 32 Ree-Tveets per guest. Zee event must happen at night. Zee level of ambient light may not exceed 1200 lumens. Vee must also serve Bier! But not gut German bier! Vee must serve only zee hippest unt coolest of Biers.

Vee predict a 92.71 chance of party success given zee algorithm vee haf developed.

That's a higher success rate than corresponding BMW and Mercedes models, someone at Audi just thought.

Photo: Getty Images



I'm so ready for the hipster trend to go the way of the tie die shirt and Dodge Omni.