Nissan Officially Responds To Porsche Skepticism, Recommends Driving Lessons

Illustration for article titled Nissan Officially Responds To Porsche Skepticism, Recommends Driving Lessons

The war of words between Nissan and Porsche over Nurburgring lap times continues. Today Nissan officially responded to Porsche's statement last month that they were unable to get within 25 seconds of the Nissan GT-R's claimed fastest 'Ring time, leading Porsche to claim Nissan had used a ringer with race tires. Seems that Nissan still has the tires they used, however, and they're inviting Porsche to check them out — along with video of the run shot by a Japanese magazine. To top it off, Nissan states the GT-R used, rather than being a ringer, was actually hampered by 110 pounds of extra telemetrics. So what gives? Nissan has inferred Porsche must have neither properly run-in the Nissan nor learned how to extract the most from the Japanese supercar's AWD system. Choice Nissan quotes after the jump.

We are aware that several auto makers have purchased the GT-R for their own testing and evaluation. Like all GT-R customers, we recommend that any auto maker buying a GT-R should follow the recommended run-in procedures, service schedules and maintenance to ensure the maximum performance from their car. In addition, we offer performance driving courses for prospective and current GT-R owners to help them get the best performance from their car. We would welcome the opportunity to help any auto manufacturer with understanding the full capabilities of the GT-R.

We anxiously await the no-doubt terse and pointed release that'll be forthcoming from Stuttgart. In the meantime, we just want to remind both companies that your mother countries have a long history of working together, so let's not let this go too far. []

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"Breaking news, ladies and gentlemen. Porsche has just released a statement in response to the statement released by Nissan in response to their statement responding to Nissan's statement regarding the GT-R's 'Ring times. Porsche now states that their researchers have determined that Nissan was timing the GT-R's ring time using Japanese seconds, not the standard German seconds generally used on the Nurburgring.

Porsche has stated that, as with everything Japanese, when compared to everything German, Japanese seconds are slightly slower than German seconds, and the GT-R's time, when converted to German seconds, was actually about 45 seconds slower than Nissan had reported. This, of course proves that the Porsche 911 is still the best car in the world, even if it is ass-engined and built by Nazis.

In other news, Porsche has also reported that production of the Corvette ZR1 has been cancelled, so everyone can just ignore that thing.

Reporting live from the PorscheBünker, I'm Stud Beefpile."