Naked Man Crashes Stolen Truck Into Mall, Steals Clothing

Illustration for article titled Naked Man Crashes Stolen Truck Into Mall, Steals Clothing

Early this morning, a naked man wrapped in a blanket stole a truck from a woman in the Dallas area, according to The Dallas Morning News.

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But after he took the truck, it seems he realized that he might be more comfortable in some fresh athletic attire.

The man crashed the truck into the doors of the Southwest Center Mall and went into a Champs Sports to get dressed. He put on a full outfit, even socks.

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Police have stated that while they don't have proof, frequently a case like this occurs when the driver is high on some sort of narcotic.

The man was, unsurprisingly, arrested at the mall. Nobody was injured in the nude joyride.

Check out a report from local station WFAA below:

Illustration for article titled Naked Man Crashes Stolen Truck Into Mall, Steals Clothing
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Photo Credit: WFAA Screenshot

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DISCUSSION

Spiegel - ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ - Hopes to post on oppos!

I'm jacking this truck and well

I noticed that I'm unwell

I'm naked and I'm in hell

And there's a mall that way

Can't help but feel so foolish

I have a giant blemish

I only have just one wish

To get to the mall drive way

Oh shit, mall is closin'

Fuck that, need some clothing

Leaking oil, engine's dronin'

Where do you think I'm going baby?

Clerk, I just met you

I'm batshit crazy

How 'bout some clothing?

I'll eat your babies!

*dances*