As responsible denizens of the motoring world, we do not condone drunk driving in any form. If you do get caught, the best thing to do is to clean up your act and put yourself at the mercy of the court. Or show up to defend yourself while trashed. Either or.

Michael Schroyer of Ellsworth, Indiana was arrested in March for blowing a 0.336 on a breathalyzer. That's four times the legal limit and obviously warrants an arrest.


Schroyer went into court this week to defend himself from the charge. Problem is, he was stupid drunk when he went to defend himself. Smart move!

Cops asked if he was drinking. His response? "Hell, yeah. I drink every day." Schroyer tried to leave, and they got into a fight trying to take away his car keys. Schroyer fell to the ground and hurt his face. He then refused to take a breath test because "the last time I did that they told me I had so much alcohol in my blood that I should have been dead. I think that machine was wrong."

Naturally, Schroyer was arrested once again and is now being held on $525 bail.

(Hat tip to college roommate and all around good dude Bevan!)