Illustration for article titled Lack Of Parking Is The Only Reason I Haven’t Bought A Pontiac Fiero
Photo: Jonrev (Wikipedia)

I have almost bought a Pontiac Fiero more times than I can remember, and the reason I never do is always the same. I talk myself into it, I get all jazzed up about getting the ‘88 V6 five-speed that is the only worthwhile Fiero configuration, and then I remember I don’t have anywhere to park it.

I always have vehicles that border on impractical. Like now I have a 55-year-old Honda with no interior or roof, and a lifted 4Runner that gets 13 miles per gallon. Also a Honda Grom. They’re all practical commuter vehicles in the same way that a birthday cake is a meal. The Fiero fits this mold well; it only has two seats, not much cargo space, fuel mileage is only 19 mpg, and it probably wouldn’t be terribly reliable given its age and the fact that it was assembled by GM in the ’80s.


But this is the problem: The Fiero can’t do anything that my other vehicles can’t do. The others each have skills unique among them; I’m not canyon carving in the 4Runner, the S600 isn’t going to be doing any sweet jumps in the desert, and neither of them can split lanes and park at LAX for free like the Grom. So even if I did have another parking space, it wouldn’t get filled by a Fiero, but instead something with perhaps a truck bed or a charge port.

I wonder how many parking spaces I would need to justify my ‘88 GT or Formula Fiero, and every time I imagine one more space, I think of a vehicle that I’d like to own just slightly more than a Fiero. I’m afraid that no matter how many parking spaces I have, I will never have one for a Fiero.

Although, maybe I can park it at David Tracy’s house.

Matt Brown is an automotive engineer, writer, and builder of unconventional things. Mostly vehicles.

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