Kaido Nissan Skyline, Mercedes-Benz 280S, Acura Legend: The Dopest Cars I Found for Sale Online

Whatever you’re doing right now, stop it. Put the food down, hang up the phone, drop the baby. Nothing takes precedence over this: a bright-pink R31 Nissan Skyline in period-correct Kaido-style livery.

Contact the seller right now. Tell them you’re interested. Offer asking price or higher, and pick it up tonight. What are you waiting for? Have you ever seen a more perfect vehicle in your life?

Are you an adolescent in the throes of puberty, grappling with your place in the world and your complicated relationships to other people? Are you estranged from an unloving father, adrift after the death of your mother, and unable to ever properly connect with your peers in school? Do you pilot a giant robot?

If you or a loved one meets any of these criteria, you may need a purple and lime green Honda CBR600. Get yourself some blue and white riding leathers, hop on, and venture out into a world of independent people, newly freed from the Tang. And, give Asuka a break, huh?

Fun fact: this isn’t an F350. Just an F3, back before anyone told Ford about putting multiple numbers in car names. The F-series functions sequentially anyway, and it’s not like there are any half-steps in the lineup, right? Why does each truck need the 50 at the end?

I refuse to believe that any modern F350 is a full 347 better than this old truck, regardless of what we’re measuring. Look at that excellent green paint, the smooth curves of the body, the chrome grille and unassuming headlights. This is a good truck.

I know, I spent the whole intro complaining about white cars and here I am, showing you a white car. It’s not even the last one on the list! But this one is interesting for a different reason, even among Miatas — it’s cheap.

A few years ago, you could regularly find NA Miatas in good shape for around five grand. Now, everything in that price bracket is thoroughly beaten, abused, and rusted. This one looks like it was, but it’s been largely repaired — add a soft top and an AC condenser and you’re good as gold.

He’ll yeah, brother.

Okay, you probably need more justification than that to buy this IROC. I could tell you about all the engine and driveline modifications, the hot exhaust, the race-spec gauges, and the modern six-speed, or I could just tell you that it’s the most mullet Camaro you can buy with money. Who puts this many layers of racing stripes on a car? A hero, that’s who.

Look, German cars with yellow fog lights can pull off white. I’m sorry, it’s just a rule of the universe. Look at the old WRC Golves, with their white-based liveries. Imagine if they had yellow fog lights! Everything would be perfect.

Of course, this is no rally-spec Golf, but it is a beautiful sixties Mercedes — that’s gotta count for something, right? Best of all, it’s not even pristine. You can drive it on the daily without too much fear of hurting the car.

I promise, good colors once again. This isn’t just orange, but has some sort of fade to white around the wider body panels — like when you’ve messed up peeling an orange, and get that slight gradient from the peel to the, uh. The inside part. The part you eat. I swear I eat healthy and did not have sugar cookies for dinner last night.

This R90 seems pretty healthy itself, with the seller describing it as being in “excellent running and driving condition.” What more could you possibly want? Tuck your head beneath that café racer fairing and jet off to your local espresso joint.

Would you buy a project car off Craigslist with only one photo? A photo that shows faded headlights, but not the swapped-in engine? I never understand ads like this, that give only one photo, but I do understand the mindset behind this build.

This MR2 has a 2ZZ engine above its rear wheels. Yes, the 2ZZ was a Corolla engine, but it was also found in a little car called the Lotus Elise. Oh, and the Exige. And the 2-Eleven. This Mister Two is essentially a budget Lotus, but with parts you can actually find at your local dealer.

Like many older bikes, this Triumph is a bit of a mishmash. 1967 frame, 1969 motor, zero title. But a number of states won’t care about that missing paperwork on a bike this old, meaning you can enjoy the vintage scrambler life the way you like.

And this truly is built like a vintage Scrambler. A road bike frame with knobby tires, fork gaiters, and a hacked-up exhaust would’ve been exactly what all the cool kids rode back in the sixties. Who needs modern retro when you can have real retro?

This Karmann Ghia may not be the cheapest, but if the seller’s description is accurate, it could be among the nicest. Come for the beautifully-finished red paint, stay for the engine noise onomatopoeias. Porsches whirr, while Volkswagen just putter around, apparently.

This seller can get away with a bit of noisemaking, however, if the car’s description is true. A mechanically perfect Ghia, with a professionally rebuilt engine, could be an absolute blast to tool around in — no matter what the engine sounds like.

If you’re in the market for a Toyota Pickup, take your time picking the right onw. If there’s anything about it that irks you, anything you dislike, watch out — you’ll be thinking about it for a very long time.

See, this Pickup bears Toyota’s 22RE four-cylinder. That means it will never die. This is a truck you can pass down to your grandkids, or possibly their grandkids if you live somewhere with minimal road salt and rust. Trust in the Toyota, it can do you no wrong.

We can all agree, on this site, that Cars (as a concept) are Good. It would logically follow, then, that More Car is Better. This Bel-Air? Nearly seventeen and a half feet of car. How good is that?

Pretty good, I think, when it’s backed up with a freshly-built motor and brand new transmission. Sure, the Fast and the Furious tachometer looks a little dumb, but you can pull that out yourself. After that, you’re just left with a truly incredible expanse of American steel.

If I ever come across a compact two-door offroad-focused Suzuki SUV and don’t put it into Dopest Cars, I want you to know that I’ve been kidnapped and need your immediate help. Lawyers, guns, money, et cetera. Gimme anything you can, if you think it’ll get me out of whatever mess I’ve made.

This Jimny, however, is far from a mess. It’s a turbocharged model, right-hand drive and fresh from Japan. The seller even claims it’s never been off-road, though how they know that about an imported car remains to be seen. It does look near-mint, absolutely beautiful for the age, and just waiting for a new driver.

I’ll be honest: I have no concept of why someone would do this. The entire back and side of this van swing out hydraulically, as does the entire roof behind the front seats. There’s no display or anything inside, nothing to show off, so was this done for access? Is it somehow better than a door?

Maybe it’s just a canvas. Something for you to fill with your own hopes, and then display at your next extremely-large-parking-space car meet. What would you put in the back of this van, to dramatically reveal when the time is right?

A nineties Acura Legend is cool. This nineties Acura Legend is incredible, from the tip of its front bumper to the license plate out back. Yeah, it’s got a scuff and a scrape or two, but this car is older than I am. It’s allowed to show its age.

Crucially, it also shows off this stance. Those wheels. Those headlights. This Legend speaks to me, calling my name. Does it speak to you too? Are you as tempted as I am? Please, buy it before I do. I cannot afford another impulse purchase after this Halloween costume.