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Ah, to be a visiting sophisticate in a country of blunt-force trauma. Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson, a man so tall he can see Baltimore from the dugout at Yankee Stadium, calls out the American car industry for its propensity to do less with more, particularly regarding Ford's new Mustang.

By European standards this car is rubbish. Its engine has wasteful, unused capacity that turns fuel into nothing, it couldn t get from one end of a country lane to the other without running out of brakes and it handles like a newborn donkey.

There s more, too. It s got a gruff engine note, its interior has the panache of an Afghan s cave and . . . and . . . and I can t go on. You see, I m running through all this car s bad points but I m afraid my mind is consumed by the bit where I was doing 65mph on the 101, listening to some Eagles on 104.3.

Wickedly condescending, to be sure, but it's not necessarily a poor review. Just imagine Lord Chesterfield recounting one night's dalliance with a saloon girl.

Jeremy Clarkson: Ford Mustang [The Times (UK)]

Jeremy Clarkson to Ford: Take My GT Back [internal]