Proving he's as bull-headed as we suspected, Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson was reportedly in a head-on collision during filming for the show. Says the Mirror, Clarkson "suffered minor injuries to his legs, hand and back." What, exactly, are minor injuries? Clarkson elaborates: “My right index finger looked like a burst sausage, my left shin was fatter than my thigh and my back felt like someone had driven over it with a pile-driver.” For her part, Clarkson's wife claims "my husband is fine." In other words, shut up Jeremy, and put on a band-aid. So, just for the record: Jeremy Clarkson is not dead. But, if he were, we've got a very nice obituary. [FinalGear]