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The long-jaw'd wonder of the airwaves and speedways is the subject of two big stories, which we'll summarize with usual aplomb. 1.) General Motors has bought up every second of ad time on Leno's Tonight Show during its September 22, 2005 show. The company will use the time to introduce its new HHR retro-wagon in a staggered infomercial starring ambiguously impish heterosexual actor, Andy Dick. Leno will whore for introduce the pre-taped segments on-air.

2.) Leno solidifies his enthusiast cred by setting three world speed records for production cars, certified by CanAm Racing, at Talladega Superspeedway. Piloting a Porsche Carrera GT, Leno clocked the fastest lap ever run from a standing start on a closed course by a production vehicle (156.603), along with the record for fastest mile (128.14) and fastest kilometer (110.478) for a production car from a standing start. Prior to the record run, however, Leno had spun the Porsche at 182mph during a test run, after drifting high and sliding through some track debris, stopping short of the wall using his chin as a friction brake and an obvious joke as a cushion. [Update: eMercedesBenz reports on Jay's recent turn at the auctioneer's gavel, for charity o'course.]

Jay Leno Gets Lithium I-Cell Chrysler Crossfire; More Jay Leno Stuff [internal]