Jalopnik Wants You!

Illustration for article titled Jalopnik Wants You!

Attention! The intern supply at Jalopnik is dipping dangerously low, and we need replacement bodies to replenish the supply! If you've got two thumbs, 8 fingers and can string some sentences together, you might be The Next Jalopnik Intern.

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Our current crop of crop of interns is about to go off to continue their pursuit of higher education, so we're looking for a fresh group of highly motivated and car-centric people to take the interning reins.

We're going to need folks from the Los Angeles, Detroit, New York and Houston areas who don't mind commuting to a sweet gig.

The Basic Requirements: A high school senior's grasp of the English language, hands that can type, more than a passing interest in cars and all that they entail, and a sense of humor. Boring people need not apply. Knowledge of the internet is also a plus. Have a Facebook? Good! Twitter? Even better. (But really, if you don't have a Facebook, you might have to hand in your internet card anyway.) Also, if you can follow directions like a trained monkey, we'll probably think you're pretty cool.

Extra Stuff That Would Be Cool To Know: How Photoshop works. How to work Photoshop. Cameras are cool too. If you've got photography experience, send us some snaps as well. And of course, a few prior writing samples are always good to see, but not absolutely required right off the bat.

When The Party Starts: We're looking to get the new batch of recruits going by the first week of September. The actual duration of the gig can vary. Hours too, though not too much.

How To Apply: Send us a cover letter and resume (NO ATTACHMENTS) by August 20th. Any photo and writing samples, if you've got them, should also be included in the same email (still, not attached). Put INTERNSHIP APPLICATION in the subject line, and send it to Kelsey and Martin (our current interns, who will be harshly judging you throughout this whole process) at: interns at jalopnik dot com. Failure to follow these directions will pretty much result in immediate deletion, so pay attention!

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Deadline: We're going to stop accepting applications by August 20th, so get yours in by then! Also, that's Martin's birthday. If you wish him a happy one in your email, he will look more favorably upon you. Kelsey will be a hard-ass no matter what.

So best of luck, break a leg, go get 'em tiger, and we hope to see you on the other side of the velvet rope in the coming weeks!

DISCUSSION

superfastmatt
Matt Brown

Good afternoon,

I would like to be considered for your internship position. I have experience writing about cars; I was a regular columnist for Racecar Engineering International. I would have more experience, but my talent is consistently overlooked by the likes of Car And Driver, Motor Trend, Auto Week, Hot Rod Magazine, Slammed And Pimped Out Imports Monthly, Juggs, and The Daily Oklahoman. I am only slightly jaded that my well written columns are consistently rejected by automotive magazines while publications like the New York Times continue to employ semi-retarded high school flag girls to write asinine garbage about cars. I feel like I could be a great asset to your blog by proofreading columns and telling Ben Wojdyla and Matt Hardigree exactly why their columns are not only technically inaccurate but also misleading and ill informed piles of donkey shit.

Resume: I have worked in top level auto racing and currently work for an OEM so I'm fairly well informed and can easily show Ray the places to do the cursory amount of research that would prevent him from looking like an ignorant 12 year old ass. I'm a Licensed Professional Engineer in California, I have two engineering degrees, I've rebuilt and built more cars than most people have seen, I drove the Nurburgring a week ago, and I know why a 50/50 weight balance is stupid. Most people don't know this. I'm not sure why.

I also write. Like this thing you're reading. And letters to my mom, which are slightly less abrasive but just as negative. I also have a totally not-pirated copy of Photoshop which I use to put drop shadows on pictures of my dog.

Thank you for your time and consideration. This letter was not spellchecked or proofread; that's just how awesome I am.

-Matt