This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.
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Exterior Design: ***
First it s conservative, then it s flame-surfaced, then it s conservative with a bit of blingery — this car s design has been through the wringer. Although the new 7 s stance is much improved, and no one misses that bootylicious butt, the car s basic proportions look a bit goofy. Not a classic.

Braking: *****
Thanks to XXXL vacuum-assisted ventilated discs, Bimmer s portly sedan sheds speed like a Labrador losing fur. Stopping is simply not an issue; in fact, it s an opportunity to accel.


Ride: ****
All credit to the Bavarians chassis gurus for finding a way to combine more-than-merely adequate road feel with splendid isolation, without resorting to air suspension.

Handling: *****
Even when cornered at high velocity over a broken surface with severe undulations and metal expansion joints, the 750i (Sport Package) maintained composure— albeit with the traction control flashing slow down in Morse code. Yes, it s a barge, but as far as barges go, this one goes there just about as fast as you could want.

Gearbox: *
A huge disappointment. In Drive, the six-speed slushbox lacks the finesse needed for imperious wafting. In Sport, it s too manic. (It even went nuts once, rabbit-hopping down the road like I was a marijuana-infused learner driver mistreating a stick shift Ford Pinto.) The wheel-mounted button-shifters work a treat, but a 7 isn t a Ferrari is it?

Audio/Video: *
Don t get me started. iDrive is the worst thing to happen to BMW since the allies bombed their airplane engine factories.

Toys: ****
Everything you could possible imagine, from Bluetooth connectivity [finally!] with a neat little slide-out keypad, to voice recognition, to side and rear window shades that rides and fall at the push of a button, to cooling breezes for your butt. Only iDrive control (or lack thereof) loses that final star.

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Trunk: ****
As you d expect there s plenty of room for a foursome— and their golf clubs. The rear lid swings open at key fob command, but where s the one-touch closing mechanism?


Overall Rating: ****
Look past the 7 s questionable styling, death-by-frippery complexity, hyperactive gearbox and iDrive insanity, and you re left with a super-swift sedan that can rocket down highways and byways with total confidence and mindless ease. Is that a good thing? Hell yes.
[by Robert Farago]

Related: Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 BMW 750i, Part 1, Part 3 [internal]

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