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Jaguar XJ Sentinel Armored Car: A Leather-Lined Bunker

Illustration for article titled Jaguar XJ Sentinel Armored Car: A Leather-Lined Bunker

An M80 assault rifle fires 7.62mm armor-piercing rounds at 2690 fps. If that worries you, but society calls, the Jaguar XJ Sentinel offers a perfect solution. High-strength steel, Kevlar, and armor-plating up to B7 protection level. Return fire, James!


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Lord Dr. Nürburgring III, Esquire

Ha, you call that armored? No man, that's not an armored car. That's an armored quadricycle with a fancy badge and reliability problems. You want a real armored vehicle? You go to the Canadians...I can't believe I just said that, but they made a nuclear safehouse on 4 wheels.

So the next time you're being asked, "Do you want an absolutely bulletproof vehicle?". You don't say, "Yes well of course Clive, I do believe the blokes at Wimbledon were discussing this with me over tea and crumpets, yes yes. I'll have that spot on Jag-u-ar over in Coventry, indeed". Stop being a pussy, you say "Damn straight son, I'm going with the Knight XV. Hoo-ah!"

So the next time you need protection but "society calls", you forget about damn society, because they don't have a Knight XV. And that makes them lame.