The Pope, AKA Pope Francis, AKA “Cool Pope,” is a heavenly man. But since he’s visiting New York, he will officially make travel here a living hell. Thankfully, a helicopter service in New York will raise all of our cross-town travels a little closer to God, as they’re offering the low-low rate of $95 just to go from east to west across Manhattan.

Also, the point at which you’ll be crossing is only 2.3 miles wide, so you’ll actually be paying about $41.30 per mile. And while that may actually seem a bit steep, consider the alternative.


Mostly, there isn’t much alternative.

That’s because during the height of Summi Pontificis peregrinationis, New York City will shut down 83 blocks of Manhattan. Which means, short of pulling a Moses and wading through the massive crowds surrounding Central Park and Madison Square Garden, you won’t be going anywhere.

But to the rescue comes Blade, the Uber-ish helicopter startup. Instead of their usual $3,000 flights to the Hamptons, they’ll get you from the West side heliport, at 30th street, to the east side heliport, at 34th street, in only six minutes for that $95 fare.


And since I was just planning on using my traditional gestatorial chair, this option actually looks pretty cheap.

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