I Have Invented A Brilliant New Form Of Racing

Two-Lane Blacktop Screenshot
Two-Lane Blacktop Screenshot

You may think all the best forms of racing have already been invented. I am here to tell you you’re wrong. I have created the best new form of racing.

The idea is simple: One-hundred miles of pavement, all straight as an arrow. Cars line up side by side to start, from a dead stop. A person standing in front of the cars, roughly in the middle of them, waves a green flag. The cars take off, using whatever strategies necessary to get to the finish line first, short of outright obliteration of the other cars.

Think something like the Silver State Classic, but no mountains or turns necessary, and simultaneously run with other cars. Just 100 miles of flat-out racing. I’m assuming this race would involve a lot of drafting, though that may not help you out at top speed.


The person standing in the middle may be the only part that needs some more thought.

What would be the best cars for such a race? I’m going to suggest a top fuel dragster towing an Airstream full of nitromethane. Yes, that’s a bit like towing an enormous fucking bomb for 100 miles, but we must get our thrills somehow in this modern era.

(Have you seen how much fuel top fuel dragster use? No? It’s about as insane as you think. The Airstream is very necessary here.)

Alternatively I’m going to suggest a V6 Camry.

What car would you race? The only rule is they must be relatively the same, otherwise things are dumb. Explain your reasoning in the comments.

News Editor at Jalopnik. 2008 Honda Fit Sport.

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Give me a Prius and put me in the left-most lane. I can guarantee nobody will get around me.