I Am Indy: Yes, We're Stuck In The Corporate Hospitality Suite With You

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

So here's our concept. I'm eating in the corporate hospitality suite — Austin's watchin' the race and I'm watchin' via Austin — all through the wonders of instant messenger. Here' s our convo:

Wert (1:29:43 PM): Austin, my boy — what's up?
Austin (1:30:09 PM): I lost your seat man
Wert (1:30:43 PM): It's ok dude. We're both here in the suite. I'll just blog n' eat — cause this is totally cool too...especially since I dunno anything about racing.
Wert (1:31:04 PM): And speaking of that — I've got some questions for you oh-great-one-who-knows-all-about-racing.
Austin (1:31:14 PM): this is the basic idea: go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
Wert (1:31:30 PM): Ok, but maybe something more technical.
Wert (1:31:45 PM): Like — do they always turn left?

Austin (1:32:13 PM): Sometimes they swerve right, but all the turns are to the left. You are an idiot.
Wert (1:32:47 PM): I mean — it seems like they could really shake things up and like try turning right and go the other way. I mean that could totally like bring in a new demographic to the race, right?
Austin (1:34:18 PM): no
Wert (1:34:25 PM): Oh.
Wert (1:35:46 PM): So Travis Parman, Chevrolet's PR dude-extra-ordinaire is totally trying to tell us that he *loves* it when we call the Corvette "6th Generation" — and doesn't understand why we call it C6. I don't either. Care to explain?
Austin (1:36:46 PM): I'm a little confused. What?
Wert (1:36:52 PM): Nevermind.
Wert (1:37:04 PM): So what's going on in the race — gimmee an update.
Austin (1:37:39 PM): 19-year old Marco Andretti is in 5th
Austin (1:37:52 PM): Helio has fropped back to 9th
Wert (1:37:57 PM): K
Austin (1:37:59 PM): Danica just moved up to 11th
Wert (1:38:04 PM): Is Danica still hot?
Austin (1:38:25 PM): It depends.
Wert (1:38:46 PM): depends?
Austin (1:39:23 PM): On whether or not you think she's hot in the first place
Wert (1:39:42 PM): I think she's hot.
Wert (1:39:50 PM): I'd totally do her.
Austin (1:41:10 PM): It actually takes a fair amount of attention to figure out what's going on, because we can't hear the PA play-by-play here in the suite
Wert (1:41:27 PM): What about on those fancy yellow headsets ya got on?
Austin (1:41:33 PM): And the TV here isn't the ABC feed so it doesn't have all the information graphics
Wert (1:42:28 PM): ABC's not with us today, Leather.
Austin (1:42:42 PM): Wheldon: "Get fucking lyundke off the track, he's fucking terrible." At leadst I htink it was Wheldon
Austin (1:43:02 PM): Yeah we're with scanners so we can listen in on all the pit-to-car communications
Austin (1:45:24 PM): So the first series of pit stops has occured, or is occurring. That when they stop for more gas, Ray
Austin (1:45:28 PM): That's
Austin (1:45:40 PM): Now stop talking to me, I'm trying to watch.
Wert (1:46:20): Fair enough — they just brought fried biscuits in and I totally wanna get me some of that!

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