This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

So here's our concept. I'm eating in the corporate hospitality suite — Austin's watchin' the race and I'm watchin' via Austin — all through the wonders of instant messenger. Here' s our convo:

Wert (1:29:43 PM): Austin, my boy — what's up?
Austin (1:30:09 PM): I lost your seat man
Wert (1:30:43 PM): It's ok dude. We're both here in the suite. I'll just blog n' eat — cause this is totally cool too...especially since I dunno anything about racing.
Wert (1:31:04 PM): And speaking of that — I've got some questions for you oh-great-one-who-knows-all-about-racing.
Austin (1:31:14 PM): this is the basic idea: go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
Wert (1:31:30 PM): Ok, but maybe something more technical.
Wert (1:31:45 PM): Like — do they always turn left?


Austin (1:32:13 PM): Sometimes they swerve right, but all the turns are to the left. You are an idiot.
Wert (1:32:47 PM): I mean — it seems like they could really shake things up and like try turning right and go the other way. I mean that could totally like bring in a new demographic to the race, right?
Austin (1:34:18 PM): no
Wert (1:34:25 PM): Oh.
Wert (1:35:46 PM): So Travis Parman, Chevrolet's PR dude-extra-ordinaire is totally trying to tell us that he *loves* it when we call the Corvette "6th Generation" — and doesn't understand why we call it C6. I don't either. Care to explain?
Austin (1:36:46 PM): I'm a little confused. What?
Wert (1:36:52 PM): Nevermind.
Wert (1:37:04 PM): So what's going on in the race — gimmee an update.
Austin (1:37:39 PM): 19-year old Marco Andretti is in 5th
Austin (1:37:52 PM): Helio has fropped back to 9th
Wert (1:37:57 PM): K
Austin (1:37:59 PM): Danica just moved up to 11th
Wert (1:38:04 PM): Is Danica still hot?
Austin (1:38:25 PM): It depends.
Wert (1:38:46 PM): depends?
Austin (1:39:23 PM): On whether or not you think she's hot in the first place
Wert (1:39:42 PM): I think she's hot.
Wert (1:39:50 PM): I'd totally do her.
Austin (1:41:10 PM): It actually takes a fair amount of attention to figure out what's going on, because we can't hear the PA play-by-play here in the suite
Wert (1:41:27 PM): What about on those fancy yellow headsets ya got on?
Austin (1:41:33 PM): And the TV here isn't the ABC feed so it doesn't have all the information graphics
Wert (1:42:28 PM): ABC's not with us today, Leather.
Austin (1:42:42 PM): Wheldon: "Get fucking lyundke off the track, he's fucking terrible." At leadst I htink it was Wheldon
Austin (1:43:02 PM): Yeah we're with scanners so we can listen in on all the pit-to-car communications
Austin (1:45:24 PM): So the first series of pit stops has occured, or is occurring. That when they stop for more gas, Ray
Austin (1:45:28 PM): That's
Austin (1:45:40 PM): Now stop talking to me, I'm trying to watch.
Wert (1:46:20): Fair enough — they just brought fried biscuits in and I totally wanna get me some of that!

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