Here Are The Rudest Things Idiots Have Said About Your Car

 Image credit: Oscar Sandoval
Image credit: Oscar Sandoval
CountersteerYour true stories of good and bad things that happen in cars.

Rude people are everywhere: at the coffee shops, the grocery stores, in the prisons and jails—and at car meets. They stand around, acting like they are clever, passing judgment on everyone, when really the only thing they’re doing is pissing you off and being dumb.

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Last week, I asked you guys for the rudest thing someone has said about your car. People can be shitty and there’s nothing stopping them from being shitty about our cars!

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I was at an auto show once, checking out some of the Lexuses at the Lexus booth. The product specialist there was chatting with me and he asked me what I drove. I told him I had a Mercedes.

He got this really patronizing look on his face and went, “Oh, let me guess:A white C-Class?” His tone implied that only women drove white Mercedes C-Classes.

“Yeah, it’s a C-Class,” I said, and walked away. That guy was a dick. I should’ve said, “It’s an AMG, fuckface; if you think you got something that can run with that, meet me out back.” But I didn’t. And my car is blue, not white.

Anyway, what have you heard? Because based on the 1,200 responses I got on my original post, you’ve heard quite a lot.

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Oh, and by the way, I’ve asked people what they drive at meets and y’all get kind of ashamed when you tell me that you drive something ordinary, like a Corolla. Hey, man, that car isn’t for me, it’s for you! So cherish it.

Corvette Z06 (Dan Lane)

Did no one tell them that Corvettes can, like, handle now?

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Mazda Miata (jimmyjet)

Ask him out on a date next time, that’ll freak him out.

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Pontiac Aztek (DoctorBroccli)

No words.

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Model Unspecified (alsoSprachALSO)

But still gross.

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Porsche 944 (InWayOverMyHead)

“Almost.”

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Acura Integra GSR (IronGumby)

Jalopy!

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Ford Mustang Fastback (christiseveryscreenametaken)

Great car.

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Ford SVT Focus (Sonikbloo)

Last laugh.

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Honda S200... Tattoo (LAF1Fans)

Arguably worse than insulting the car because this is permanent.

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Datsun 260Z (BBQAssassin)

Awesome car, and also fuck that weirdo.

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Volvo 245 (BTDUBS)

I’m sure those kids went real far.

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Jaguar S-Type (Scott Ingram)

At least you fessed up.

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Subaru (LTT)

Frankly, I didn’t think people used the term “Jap Crap” anymore.

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.

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DISCUSSION

Never understood how FAG CAR was supposed to be an insult. Do gay people not deserve to drive fun cars? Does enjoying the company of men in the bedroom take up so much of one’s time that they can’t possibly have any left over for other hobbies outside of the bedroom? I actually got into cars in high school because one of my closest friends, who happens to be gay, had a sweet-ass CJ7, and then, when there wasn’t enough diamond plate left in the world to cover all the rust, he followed that up with a SHO. So I guess that makes CJ’s and SHO’s gay too?

I usually just say “Thanks, I guess I won’t bring it to church then.” and carry on with my day enjoying every drive in my NC.