Here Are The Most Boring Cars That You Love

Subaru Outback

Because I am a Lesbian

Submitted by: TheDriveress

I honestly love me a good van. Vans are honest, hard working and serve a purpose. People who buy vans do a lot of research and have strong preferences for what van they want. I’m partial to the Kansas City produced Ford Transit, and I was very happy when Ford put the old reliable Econoline out to pasture and arrived in the 20th Century with the Transit the rest of the world has enjoyed for decades. Chevy has said F you to that proposition of course, may the Express live another 100 years. The Mercedes Sprinter is by far the nicest van and makes an excellent shuttle or Airstream. Vans are boring, but they are critical to daily life! (Mural vans do not count, as those are by far too interesting!)

(I would subscribe to more than one OnlyVans channel, by the way)

Submitted by: Schem

My current ride:

[...]

Sure it only has like 30 more hp than my motorcycle, no cruise control, no remote door unlock, but it’s got a 5 speed and I can use every single ounce of power in it (unlike said bike). I can fit ladders, furniture, 2x4s, drumset, whatever the hell I need to in it. It honestly handles great, like a go-kart. Ok, a slightly more top heavy go-kart haha.

Submitted by: JEM

The second generation Toyota Prius.

The worst MPG I ever achieved in it was 37 with 4 people in the car. Regularly at at 45+. Only needed oil changes in the 150k we owned it for. Skipped over the snow. Comfy, practical, and handled everything that 18 year old me threw at it with aplomb. Enter the Konami code and you could turn traction control and esc fully off and that thing loved to slide in any sort of snow.

Only demerit I can think of is the bumpers that are seemingly made out of paper. In 2 years I went through 3 bumpers, bump into a snow bank at 5-7, cracked. Incorrectly estimate the height of a parking curb, cracked. Hit a pigeon, cracked.

Submitted by: CKB Turbo

Had one of these as a rental. That car is a sleeper...handles well and the V6 had a ton of power. I opened it up on a long straightaway on US 50 in Nevada and I went from 75 to 120 mph in a flash. Awesome car at the wrong time...deserved a better fate than being passed over for SUVs.

Submitted by: Dean Beyer, J Hamm, among others

Honda Pilot: in many ways it is Beige personified. but at the same time it is incredibly reliable, comfortable, roomy, safe, has good visibility, carries a shit ton of stuff and people, can tow a reasonable load, and actually does remarkably well off road.

I’ve owned a 2007 since new and 220,000 miles + later I just changed out the timing belt and bought new tires having committed to keeping it at least another 3 years.

Submitted by: Toobs-n-stuff

The GM J-body. 1st Gen, 2nd Gen, 3rd Gen. Don’t care. Love them all for the little tin cans they are. Mine has been oddly lovingly cared for in its 31 years of life and I’ve continued that. It’s slow, old, shoddily built and somehow still…fun.

Submitted by: mazda616

I was going to say Super Duty trucks, because they are boringly competent at everything they do, but hold a sweet spot in my heart for being so good at just about any automotive task imaginable. But then you said:

those that don’t elicit an emotional response from the majority of drivers, even from enthusiasts. Hell, maybe even especially from enthusiasts.

And I realized, based on the whinging of 75% of this site’s commentors every time a truck larger than a Camry is mentioned, that my entry is not eligible. Sad.

(I’ll agree that these trucks can be very boring. If you love them, it counts!)

Submitted by: V10omous

Believe it or not? The Chevy Spark. Me and my brother rented one two months ago on a road trip. The thing is TINY. A real throwback to the 80's when some econo cars were really.... Econo cars. And it was actually sort of fun to drive. We were also getting close to 40MPG on the freeway, it had all of the electronic goodies and crap you get on most other cars and it somehow had enough power to not totally suck.

Submitted by: ROBOT TURDS

The Holy Grail of Humdrum.
The Goliath of Gray.
The Superhero of Stale.

The Volvo 240.

Submitted by: Shane Morris

2010-2013 Ford Fusion. Very generic, but good. I had one in silver with the V6, and I cannot tell you how many times I lost it in parking lots. It rode well, it was spacious (especially compared to my Mazda 6's), and handled better than it needed to. The interior was a bit dark, but had decent materials for the time with no creaks or rattles even after 200k miles. The fuel economy was very meh (about 25 on the highway) with the V6, but the engine was stout and nothing on the car ever broke.

Submitted by: MrMcGeein3D

The correct answer is always Panthers.

Submitted by: moparded2, among others