If you've had trouble accessing Jalopnik during the past 24 hours, rest assured we've fixed the problems and service should be jiminy cricket from now on. We apologize.
It seems our Internet service provider accidentally routed our traffic through an outdoor market in China's Shaanxi Province, where several villagers were arguing over fish paste, which led to some very tense moments over a game of Mah Jongg. We regret the inconvenience this may have caused, and are pleased to say we've flogged said provider with a taro root for a several minutes in retribution. Ring us up at tips@jalopnik.com to vent or praise our ill-considered perspicacity.